Roxas's Last Breath
by Kairikitten19
Summary: Tis basically an in-progress tragic romance between Roxas and Kairi   The first part of chapter one is the tragedy that happens I show that part first then tell Kairi's life with Roxas leading up to the incident. then, i tell her life without Roxas. Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

"I never knew how romantic Christmas Town could be," Kairi said, resting against the snow bank they were sitting on, smiling at Roxas. Then she looked past him at the pile of snow on the ground. "Maybe you should pull your keyblade outta there before it gets frozen in the snow." Roxas reached down and sighed. He tugged the Key out, grunting, then sent it away, sitting back down next to Kairi. "Ow!" The smell of crushed flowers filled the air. Kairi laughed out loud. "What's so funny?" Roxas asked, pulling the smashed poinsettas from behind him, but he was laughing too. "What if someone had come along and seen you in your Organization cloak? Wouldn't Xemnas murder you for exposing the Organization?" Roxas tossed the flowers into the woods, and pulled her towards him again.

He traced the silver zipper on the front of her dress, then kissed her cheek. "I would've told them I was with an angel." "Oh, what a line!" "Kairi, I love you." Roxas said, his face suddenly serious and determined to make her believe him. She stared back at him, and bit her lip. She knew nobodies didn't have any emotions. Sora had told her that. "This isn't some kind of game for me. I love you, Kairi, and one day you're going to believe me." She put her arms around his neck, raising an eyebrow. "Love, Roxas? Nobodies cannot feel anything." She partly believed him, because, oddly enough, she was falling for the blonde spikey-haired nobody. But part of her knew that nobodies cannot feel any emotion. She sighed, because she trusted him, like she trusted no one else.

One day, she'd have the nerve to tell him how she felt. She'd say those three words. I love you, Roxas. She'd shout it from the top of Castle Oblivion. It took a few minutes to straighten themselves up. Kairi started laughing again. Roxas smiled and watched her try to tame that rose colored mess she called a head of hair-a useless effort. Then he got up, peering into the woods, watching a few heartless form. They're numbers were growing bigger by the minute. He jumped over rocks, and logs, summoning Oblivion. "Kairi stay here!" He shouted back at her, worried for her safety. The moon glinted off of his Keyblade as he jumped into the mass of heartless. Kairi got worried, getting up and running after him. "Roxas wait!" She shouted as she panted, trying to catch up with him. Roxas was steadily slashing at the heartless, sweat dripping down his forehead. "Kairi get back!"

She shook her head. "No!" Being the stubborn Princess of Heart she was, she was /not/ going to let Roxas fight alone. She summoned Destiny's Embrace, diving into the swarm of heartless. Roxas blinked twice, astonished. "K-Kairi what are you...?" She grinned. "This time, I'll save you."He shook his head frantically, fear in his eyes as more heartless manifested. "NO! End of fucking story!" His eyes went wide in fear, as Sora's Darkside manifested behind Kairi. He knew there was only one option: use his entire being in an attempt to wipe them all out and save his Princess. He picked Kairi up and tossed her into a snow bank. Rude, and rough, but effective. Kairi shouted at him, snow in her hair. "What the hell are you doing?"

He rolled his eyes, building up his energy. "Saving your life, Princess." As the heartless surrounded Roxas, tears filled the red-head's eyes. "W..why?" He chuckled sadly as he finally let the massive attack out, eradicating all the heartless in the area, dropping to his knees. "B..Because I love you." Kairi ran over just as he fell, and caught him. "Ro..Roxas.." He groaned in pain, slowly starting to fade away. "S..sorry. Looks like.. I won't.. be around for our next.. date.." He closed his eyes as Kairi shook him. "N-No! d..don't leave! Don't fade on me.. please.." She pleaded, silent tears falling. "R-Roxas!" He completely faded, his voice echoing in the air around her. "I love you... Princess." For days after, all Kairi could remember was Roxas fading in her arms.

At the sound of Coach Xigbar's arrowgun, Kairi jumped. She hated gym, especially when Xigbar was subbing. Even though she and her friends were ten feet from the edge of the school pool, she felt as if she were swimming. The air itself seemed dark, and dank mist, bluish green, heavy with the smell of chlorine. As if one of Demyx's attacks had gone horribly wrong. Everything echoed-the arrowgun, which felt like it was piercing her fragile little heart, the same feeling she got when Roxas had faded from her life. The shouts of the crowd, the explosion of swim Coach Demyx's swimmers into the water. When Kairi first entered the domed pool area, she'd gulped for breath. She wished she were outside in the bright and windy March day. Though, she knew her father, Principal Xemnas, or Mansex, as the kids who hated her called him, wouldn't allow it.

"Tell me again," She said. "Which one is he?" Olette looked at Selphie. Selphie looked back at Olette. They both shook their heads, sighing. "Well how am I supposed to be able to tell?" Kairi asked. "They're hairless, everyone of them, with shaved arms, shaved legs, and shaved chests-a team of bald guys in rubber caps and goggles. They're wearing our school colors, but for all I know, they could be a shipload of aliens." "If those are aliens," Olette said, rapidly clicking her ballpoint pen, "I'm moving to /that/ planet." Selphie took the pen away from Olette and said in a husky voice, "God, I love swim meets!" "But you don't even watch the swimmers once they're in the water," Kairi observed. "Because she's checking out the group coming up to the blocks," Olette explained. "Roxas is the one in the center lane," said Selphie."The best swimmers always race in the center lanes." "He's our flyer," Olette added. "The best at the butterfly stroke. Best in the state, in fact."

Kairi already knew that. The swim team poster was all over the school: Roxas surging up out of the water, his shoulders rushing forward at you, his powerful arms pulled back like wings. The person in charge of publicity knew what he was doing he selected that photo. He produced numerous copies, which was a good thing, for the taped-up posters of Roxas were continually disappearing-into girls' lockers. Sometime during this "poster craze" Olette and Selphie had begun to think that Roxas was interested in Kairi. Two collisions in the hall in one week was all that it took to Olette, an imaginative writer, who had read a library of romance novels. And her father watching her in his office from all the security cameras, didn't help either. "But, Olette, I've walked with you plenty of times," Kairi argued with her. "You know how I am." "We do," Selphie said. "Head in the clouds. Three miles above this world we live in. Angel zone. But still, I think Olette is onto something. Remember, _**he**_ walked into _**you**_."

"Maybe he's clumsy when he's outside the water. Like Coach Demyx," Kairi added, knowing all the while there was nothing clumsy about Roxas. He had been pointed out to her in January, that first, snowy day when he had arrived at Oblivion High School. A cheerleader had been assigned to guide Kairi and was leading her through a crowded cafeteria. "You're probably checking out the jocks. Ya know. the Keyheads, as we call'em.," the cheerleader said. Actually, Kairi was busy trying to figure out what the stringy green stuff was that a man named "Xaldin" was serving to the students. "At your school in Destiny Islands, the girls probably dream about Keyblade warriors. But a lot of the girls at Oblivion-" Dream about him, Kairi thought as she followed the cheerleader's glance towards Roxas. "Actually, I prefer a guy with a brain," Kairi told the short-haired snobby blonde. "But he's got a brain!" Selphie had insisted when Kairi repeated this conversation to her a few minutes later. Selphie was the only girl Kairi already knew at Oblivion, and she had somehow found Kairi in the mob that day. "I mean a brain that isn't waterlogged," Kairi added. "You know I've never been interested in jocks. I want someone I can talk to."

Selphie blew through her lips. "You're already communicating with angels-" "/Don't/ start on that," Kairi warned her. "Angels?" Olette asked. She had been eavesdropping from the next table. "You can talk to angels?" Selphie rolled her eyes, annoyed by this interruption, then turned back to Kairi. "You'd think that somewhere in that wingy collection of yours, you'd have at least one angel of love." "I do." "What kind of things do you say to them?" Olette interjected again. She opened a notepad. Her pencil poised as if she were going to copy what Kairi said, word for word. Selphie pretended Olette wasn't there. "Well, if you do have an angel of love, Kairi, she's screwing up worse than Demyx did when Xemnas sent him on that mission to the Underworld. Somebody ought to remind her of her mission."Kairi shrugged. Not that she wasn't interested in guys, but her days were full enough-her music, her job at the Moogle Shop, keeping up her grades, and helping take care of her eight-year-old brother, Sora.

It had been a bumpy couple of months for Sora, their father, and her. She would not have made it through without the angels. After that day in January, Olette had sought out Kairi to question her about her belief in angels, and show her some of her romantic short stories. Kairi enjoyed talking to her. Olette, who was round-faced with shoulder-length chocolate-brown hair and clothes that ranged from flaky to dowdy, lived many incredibly romantic and passionate lives-in her mind. Selphie, with her magnificent emerald-green eyes, and perfectly tan skin, also pursued and lived out many passions-in the classrooms and hallways, leaving the guys of Oblivion High emotionally exhausted. Olette and Selphie had never really been friends, but late in Febuary they became allies in the cause of getting Kairi together with Roxas, which her father was none too fond of. "I heard that he is pretty smart," Olette had said at another lunch in the cafeteria. "A total brain," Selphie agreed. "Top of the class." Kairi raised an eyebrow. "Or close enough." "Swimming is a subtle sport," Olette continued. "It looks as if all they're doing is going back and forth, but a guy like Roxas has a plan, a complex winning strategy for winning each race." "Uh-huh," Kairi said.

"All we're saying is that you should come to the swim meet," Selphie told her. "And sit up front," Olette suggested. "And let me dress you for that day," Selphie added. "You know I can pick out your clothes better than you." Kairi had shaken her head, wondering then and for days how her friends could think a guy like Roxas was interested in her. But when Roxas had stood up at the junior class assembly and told everyone how much the team needed them to come to the last big school meet, all the time staring /right/ at her, it seemed like she had little choice. "If we lose this meet," Selphie said, "it's on your head, girl." Now, late in March, Kairi had watched Roxas shake out his arms and legs. He had a perfect build for a swimmer/Keyblader, broad and powerful shoulders, narrow hips. The cap hid his spikey blonde hair, which she remembered to be shortish and thickish. "Every inch of him hard with muscle," breathed Olette. After several clicks of her pen, which she had taken back from Selphie, she was writing away in her notebook. "Like glistening rock. Sinuous in the hands of the sculptor, molten in the fingers of the lover. . ." Kairi peered down at Olette's pad. "What is it this time," she asked, "poetry or romance?" "Does it make a difference?" her friend replied. "Swimmers up!" shouted the starting official, Coach Demyx watching his swimmers with pride, and the competitors climbed onto their blocks.

"My, my," Selphie murmured, "those little suits don't leave much to the imagination, do they? I wonder what Riku would look like in one." Kairi nudged her. "Keep your voice down. He's right over there." "I know," Selphie said, running her fingers through her caramel colored hair. "On your marks. . ." Olette leaned forward for a look at Riku. "His long, lean body, hungry and hot. . ." **_Bang!_** "You always use words that begin with _**h**_," Selphie said. Olette nodded. "When you alliterate _**h**_, it sounds like heavy breathing. Hungry, heated, heady-" "Are either of you bothering to /watch/ the race?" Kairi interrupted. "It's four hundred meters, Kairi. All Roxas does is go back and forth." "I see. Whatever happened to the total brain with his complex winning strategy in the subtle sport of swimming?" Kairi asked. Olette was writing again. "Flying like an angel, wishing his watery wings were warm arms for Kairi.' I'm really inspired today!" "Me too," Selphie said, her glance traveling down the line of bodies in the ready area, then skipping over the spectators to Riku. Kairi followed her glance, then quickly turned her attention to back to the swimmers. For the last three months Selphie had been in hot-heated, hungry-pursuit of Riku. Kairi wished that Selphie would get herself stuck on somebody else, and do it soon, before the first Saturday in April. "Who's that blonde?" Selphie asked. "I hate little petite types. Riku doesn't look right with someone petite. Little face, little hands, little dainty feet."

"Gorgeous sky blue eyes," Olette said, glancing up. "Who is she? Ever seen her before, Kairi?" "Selphie, you've been in this school a lot longer than-" "You're /not/ even looking," Selphie interrupted. "Because I'm watching our hero, just like I'm /supposed/ to be doing. What does Key of Destiny mean? Everyone shouts 'Key of Destiny!' when Roxas does a turn." "That's his nickname," Olette replied, because of the way he helps the team win every swim meet. Coach Demyx seems to think he's the key to the victory filled destiny of the team." "I see," Kairi said. "Sounds like a total brain to me, being the Coach's "destiny" puppet for victory. How long do these meets usually last?" "Kairi come on," Selphie whined, and pulled on her arm. "Look and see if you know who the blonde is." "Larxene." "You're making that up!" Selphie said. "It's Larxene," Kairi insisted. "She's the cheerleader who showed me around on my first day. And quite frankly, she's a stuck up snobby little bitch." Aware of Selphie's continuous staring, Larxene turned around and gave her a nasty look. Riku noticed the expression and glanced over his shoulder at them. Kairi saw the amusement spreading over his face.

Riku had a charming smile, shoulder-length silver hair, and gorgeous turquoise eyes, Kairi thought. He was tall, but it wasn't his height that made him stand out in the crowd. It was his self confidence. He was like an actor, like the star of a movie, who was part of it all, yet when the show was over, held himself apart from the others, believing he was better than the rest. Riku's family were the richest people in Dark City, but Kairi knew that it wasn't Riku's money but his /coolness/, this aloofness, that drove Selphie wild. Selphie always wanted what she couldn't have. Kairi put her arm lightly around her friend. She pointed to the hunk of a swimmer stretching out in the ready area, hoping to distract her. Then she yelled "Key of Destiny!" as Roxas went into his last turn. "I think I'm getting into this," she said, but it appeared Selphie's thoughts were on Riku now. This time, Kairi feared, Selphie was in deep. "He's looking at us," Selphie said excitedly. "He's coming this way." Kairi felt herself tensing up. "And the Bitch is following him." Why? Kairi wondered. What could Riku have to say to her now after almost three months of ignoring her? In January she had learned quickly that Riku would not acknowledge her presence. And as if bound by some silent agreement, niether he nor Kairi had advertised that his mother was going to marry her father. Few people knew that he and Kairi would be living in the same house come April.

"Hi, Kairi!" Larxene was the first to speak, being oh so fake and sweet. It made Kairi sick. She squeezed herself in next to Kairi, ignoring Selphie and barely glancing at Olette. She gave a fake, sickeningly sweet giggle. "I was just telling Riku how we always sit near each other in music class, buddy." Kairi opened her mouth to tell her off, how they had /never/ been friends, and never would be. "He hasn't heard you play the piano. I was telling him how terrific you are." Kairi shrugged. The last time she had played an original composition for the class, Larxene had shown her appriciation by rolling her eyes, scoffing, and filing her nails. Then Kairi felt Riku's eyes on her. When she met his look, he winked. Kairi gestured toward her friends and said, "You know Selphie and Olette?" "Not real well," he said, smiling at each in turn. Selphie glowed. Olette focused on him with the intrest of a researcher, her hand clicking away on the ballpoint. "Guess what, Kairi? In April you won't be living far from my house. Not far at all," Larxene said with that same sickening giggle. "It will be a lot easier to study together now."

Easier? Kairi thought, utter dread in her eyes. "I can give you a ride to school. It will be a quicker drive to your house." Quicker? "Maybe we can get together more." More? Kairi let out a quiet groan. "Well, Kairi," Selphie exclaimed, batting her long, dark lashes, "you never told me that you and Larxene were such good friends! Maybe we can all get together more. You'd like to go to Larxene's house too, wouldn't you, Olette?" Riku barely supressed his smile. "We could have a sleepover, Larxene." Larxene didn't look too enthused. "We could talk about guys and vote on who's the hottest date around." Selphie turned her gaze upon Riku, sliding her eyes down and up him, taking in everything. He continued to look amused. "We know some other girls, from Kairi's old school in Destiny Islands," Selphie went on cheerily. She knew that Oblivion's high-class commuters to The World That Never Was, would have nothing to do with the dull, boring Destiny Islands. "They'd love to come. Then we can all be friends. Don't you think that would be fun?" "Not really," Larxene said, and turned her back on Selphie.

"Nice talking to you, Kairi. See you soon, I hope. Come on, Riku, it's crowded over here." She tugged on his arm. As Kairi turned back to the action of the pool, Riku caught her chin. With the tips of his fingers he tilted her face up toward him. He was smiling. "Innocent Kairi," he said. "You look embarressed. Why? It works both ways, you know. There are plenty of guys, guys I hardly know, who are suddenly talking like they're my best friends, who are counting on dropping by my house the first week of April. Why do you suppose that is?" Kairi shrugged. "You're part of the in crowd, I guess." "You really are innocent!" he exclaimed. She wished that he would let go of her. She glanced past him to the next set of bleachers, where his friends sat. Axel and another guy were talking to Larxene now and laughing. The ultra-cool Zexion looked back at her. Riku withdrew his hand. He left with just a nod at her friends, his eyes still bright with laughter. When Kairi turned back to the pool again, she saw that three rubber-capped guys in identical swimsuits had been watching her. She had no idea, which, if any of them was Roxas.


	2. Chapter 2

"I feel like a fool," Roxas said, peeking through the diamond-shaped window in the door between the kitchen in the dining room of Castle Oblivion's Heart's Club. Candelabra were being lit, and crystal stemware checked. In the large kitchen were he and Repliku were standing, tables were laid out with polished fruit and hors d'oeurves. Roxas had no idea what most of the hors d'oeurves were or if they were to be served in any special hoped simply that they and the champagne glasses would stay on the up side of his tray.

Repliku was struggling with his cuff links. The cummerbund of his rental tuxedo kept unwrapping itself from his waist, its Velcro failing to stick. One of his shiny black shoes, a size too small, was tied with an emergency purple sneaker lace. Repliku was a real friend, Roxas thought, to agree with this scheme. "Remember. it's good money," Roxas said aloud, "and we need it for the Atlantica meet." Repliku grunted. "We'll see what's left after we pay for the damages." "All of it!" Roxas replied with confidence. How hard could it be to carry this stuff around? He and Repliku were swimmers. Their natural athletic balance had given them their right to fib about experience when they interviewed with the caterer.

A piece of cake, this job. Roxas picked up a silver tray and surveyed his reflection. "I just don't feel like a fool-I look like one." "you /are/ one," said Repliku. "And I want you too know I'm not that much of a fool to believe your line about earning money for the Atlantica meet." "What do you mean?" Repliku snatched up a spaghetti mop and held it so its spongy strings flopped over his head. "Oh, Roxy," he said in a high-pitched voice, "what a suprise to see you here at my father's wedding!" "Shut up, Repliku." "Oh, Roxy, put down that tray and dance with me." Repliku smiled and patted the mop's spongy head.

"Her hair doesn't look like that." "Oh, Roxy, I just caught Riku's mother's bouquet. Let's run away and get married." "I don't want to marry her! I just want her to know I exsist. I just want to go out with her. Once! If she doesn't like me, well. . ." Roxas shrugged as if it didn't matter, as if the worst crush he'd ever had in his life might really disappear overnight. "Oh, Roxy"~ "I'm going to kick your-" The kitchen door swung open, and oddly enough, it was Xaldin who walked in, for this was his second job other than the school cafeteria.

"Gentlemen," said Xaldin, "the wedding guests have arrived and are ready to be served. Could Fortune be so smiling upon us that you two _**experienced**_ garcons would be available to serve them?" "Is he being sarcastic?" Repliku asked. Roxas rolled his eyes, and they hurried to join the other waiters at their stations. For the first ten minutes, Roxas occupied himself with watching the other workers, trying to learn his job. He knew that the girls and women liked his smile, and he used it for all it was worth, especially when a caviar he was serving leaped like a fully evolved fish into an older woman's lap. He worked his way around the large reception hall, searching for Kairi, sneaking peeks while big-bellied men unloaded their trays. Two of them went away wearing their drinks and muttering, but he barely noticed. All he could think about was Kairi. What if he came face-to-face with her, what would he say?

"Have some crab balls?" Or perhaps, "May i suggest _**le ballee de crabbe? **_Yeah, that would impress her. What kind of guy had he turned into? Why should he, Roxas, Number Thirteen in the Organization, the Key of Destiny, a guy hanging up in a hundred girls' lockers (maybe a slight exaggeration) need to impress her, a girl who thought nobodies didn't exist, or have feelings, a Princess of Heart, who was uninterested in hanging in his locker, or anybody else's for all he could tell? And the fact that her father was his Superior, and his Principal, did /not/ help either. She walked the same halls he did, but it was as if she traveled in another world. He'd noticed her on her first day at Oblivion.

It wasn't just her different kind of pristine beauty, that wild tangle of gorgeous rose-colored hair and her ocean blue eyes, that made him want to look and look, and touch. It was the way she seemed free of things other people were caught up in-the way she focused on the person she was talking to, without scanning the crowd to see who else was there; the way she dressed not to look like everyone else; the way she lost herself in a song. He had stood in the doorway of the school music room one day absolutely mesmerized and astonished at her skill. Of course, she hadn't even noticed him. He doubted that Kairi knew he exisited. But was this catering thing really a good way to clue her in? After recovering a fat crab ball that had rolle dto a stop between some pointy-toed shoes, he was staring to doubt it.

Then he saw her. She was in pink-and pink and pink: yards of pink sparkly stuff that fell off her shoulders and must have had some kind of hoop under its skirt. Repliku passed by him then. Roxas turned a little too quickly and their elbows hit. Eight glasses shivered on their stems, spilling dark wine. "Some dress!" Repliku said with a quiet snicker. Roxas shrugged. He knew the dress was cheesy, but her didnt care. "Eventually she'll take it off," he reasoned. "Pretty cocky there, buddy." "Not what I meant! What I-" "Xaldin," Repliku warned, and the two of them quickly parted. The caterer snagged Roxas, however, and hauled him into the kitchen. When Roxas emerged again, he was carrying a low-lying spread of vegetables and a shallow bowl of dip-stuff that couldn't spill.

He noticed that some of the guests seemd to recognize him now and moved quickly out of his way when he approached. Which meant he carried a full tray round and round, hardly needing to look where he was going, and had plenty of time to scope out the party. "Hey, swimmer. Sssswimmer." It was someonefrom school calling him, probably one of Riku's friends. Roxas had never liked guys or girlds in Riku's crowd. All of them had money and flaunted it. They did some stupid things and were always looking for a new thrill. "Sssswimmer, are you deaf?" the guy called out. Axel, thin-faced and red-headed, lounged against the wall, one hand hanging on to a candle sconce. "I'm sorry," said Roxas. "Were you talking to me?" "I know you, Key of Destiny. I know you. Is this what you do between laps?"

Axel let go of the sconce and swayed a little. "This is what I do so I can afford laps," Roxas replied. "Great. I'll buy you ssssome more laps." "What?" "I'll make it worth your time, Key of Destiny, to get me a drink." Roxas looked Axel over. "I think you've already had one." Axel held up four fingers, then dropped his hand limply. "Four," Roxas corrected himself. "This is a private party," Axel said. "They'll serve under age. Private party or not, they'll serve whatever or whoever Aqua wants them to ssserve. That woman buys everybody, you know." That's were Riku learned it from, Roxas thought to himself. "Well, then," he said aloud, "the bar's over there." He tried to move on, but Axel placed himself squarely in front of Roxas. "Problem is, I've been cut off." Roxas took a deep breath.

"I need a drink, Key of Destiny. And you need some Munny." "I don't take tips," Roxas said. Axel started to laugh. "Well, maybe don't _**get**_ them-I've been watching you bump around. But I think you'd take'em." "Sorry." "We need each other," Axel said. "We've got a choice. We can help each other or hurt each other." Roxas didn't reply. "Know what I mean, Key of Destiny?" "I know what you mean, but I can't help you out." Axel took a step toward him. Roxas took a step back. Axel stepped closer again. Roxas tensed. Riku's friend was a light-weight in Roxas's book, the same height but nowhere near as broad as Roxas.

Still, the guy was drunk and had nothing to lose-such as a large tray of loaded vegetables. No problem, thought Roxas. A quick side-step would send Axel plunging to his knees, then flat on his face. But Roxas hadn't counted on the groom's party passing through at that moment. Catching sight of them out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly had to shift direction. He slammed into the lurching Axel. Celery and cauliflower, mushrooms and pepper curls, broccoli and snow peas were launched toward a chandelier, then rained down upon the party. And then she looked at him. Kairi, sparkling Princess Kairi. For a moment their eyes met, hers round as the cherry tomatoes that rolled onto her father's train. Roxas took a deep breath and swallowed hard. The Superior did /not/ look happy.

But, Roxas was sure that she finally knew he existed. And he was just as sure that she'd never got out with him. Never. And by the look on the Superior's face, he was sure he would get detention for a few weeks. "Maybe you were right, Kairi," Selphie whispered as they looked down at the splatter of raw vegetables. "On land, Roxas's a klutz." What is he doing here? Kairi wondered. Why didn't her stay in his pool, where he belonged? She knew her friends would be convinced he was following her around, and it embarressed her.

Olette picked her was towards them, spearing a tomato with her high heel. "Perhaps this is how he earns money," she said, reading Kairi's troubled face. Selphie shook her head. "Throwing broccoli at the groom?" Kairi laughed quietly. She rather enjoyed the look on her father's face when he got veggies dumped on him. "He has no idea what he's doing," Selphie observed. "He's here just for the night." Kairi sighed. "I guess Roxas's hard up." Beth said. "For money or for Kairi?" Selphie asked, and they both laughed.

"Oh, come on, Kairi," Olette said, touching her gently on the arm. "It's funny! I bet his eyes got big when he saw what you were wearing." Selphie made her eyes gigantic and started humming the theme from _**Gone with the Wind. **_Kairi grimaced. She knew she looked like Scarlett O' Hara dropped in a bucket of glitter. But it was the gown her father had picked out especially for her. Selphie kept humming. "I bet Riku's eyes got big when he saw what you _**weren't **_wearing," Kairi told her friend, hoping to shut her up. Selphie was in a plunging black sheath.

"I certainly hope so!" "And speaking of," said Olette. "There you are, Kairi." Riku's voice was warm and almost intimate. Selphie swung toward him. He offered Kairi his arm. "We're expected by the head table." With her hand resting lightly on his arm, Kairi fell into step beside him, wishing Selphie could go in her place. Her father looked up as the two of them approached, beaming up at Kairi in his tuxedo. "Thank you," Kairi said as Riku held out her chair for her.

He smiled at her-that secret kind of smile she had first seen at the swim meet, He leaned down, his lips close to her bare neck. "My pleasure, ma'am." Kairi's skin prickled a little. He's playing, she told herself. Just play along. Since the swim meet, he had been teasing her and trying to be friendly, and she knew she would give him credit for that; but Kairi preferred the old, cold Riku. She had understood completely his icy response when she had first arrived at his school. She knew it must have been a terrible shock when he found out Xemnas was moving his brood from their apartment in Destiny Islands to one his mother was leasing in The World That Never Was, and that this was in preparation for marriage.

Aqua and Xemnas's affair had begun years earlier. But affairs were affairs, people said, and Aqua and her father were such an odd romantic pair-A very skilled, wealthy Keyblader with a heart, and a Nobody, who seemed to be able to "feel". Who'd have guessed thats years after their fling, years after Aqua's divorce, she and Xemnas would tie the knot? It was a shock to Kairi. Her own mother had died when she was an infant. She had grown up watching her father go through a series of girlfriends, and thought it would always be that way.

Kairi leaned forward to look down the table at her father. Aqua caught her eye and smiled, nudging her new husband. Xemnas beamed back at Kairi. He looked so happy. Angel of love, Kairi prayed silently, watch over Dad. Watch over all of us. Make us a loving family. Loving and strong. "Should I tell you that your-uh-sparkles are dipping in the soup?" Kairi sat up quickly. Riku laughed and offered her his napkin. "That dress can get you in a lot of trouble," he teased. "It nearly blinded Roxas."

Kairi could feel the warmth spreading in her cheeks. She wanted to point out that it was Axel not she- "I feel sorry for the table he's wating on tonight. He and that other jock," Riku said, still grinning. "I hope it's not ours." They both glanced around the room. Me too, Kairi thought, me too. Shortly after the raw vegetable shower, Roxas was told he could leave and should leave, immediately. Tired and humiliated, he would've been glad to clear out, but he was Repliku's ride home. So he poked around the kitchen until her found a storeroom to hole up in.

It was dark and peaceful there, its shelves stacked with large boxes and cans. Roxas had just settled down comfortably down on a carton when he heard rustling behind him. Heartless, he thought, or mice. He really didn't care. He tried to console himself, imagining himself standing on the top winner's block, holding his Keyblade and the swimming trophy up, Kairi watching on TV and sorry she had missed her chance to go out with him.

"I'm an idiot!" he said, dropping his head in his hands. "I could have any girl I wanted and-" A hand rested lightly on his shoulder. Roxas's head shot up and looked into the face of a kid. The kid, who looked about eight years old, was all dressed up, his tie knotted tightly and his chocolate brown hair plastered down. He must have been one of the wedding guests. "What are you doing in here?" Roxas demanded. "Would you get me some food?" the boy asked.

Roxas frowned, annoyed that he had to share his hideout, a cozy place for pining over Kairi. "Why can't you get your own food?" "They'll see me," said the boy. "Well they'll see me too!" The boy's mouth formed a thin, straight line. His jaw was set. But his eyes looked uncertain and his brow was puckered. Roxas spoke in a gentler voice. "Looks as if you and I are up to the same thing. Hiding out." "I'm really hungry. I didn't eat breakfast or lunch," the kid said.

Through the door, which was open a crack, Roxas could see the other waiters whisking in and out. They had just begun serve the dinner. "I might have something in my pocket," he told the kid, and pulled out a squashed crab ball, several shrimp, three stalks of stuffed celery, a handful of cashews, and something unidentifiable. "Is that sushi?" asked the boy. "Got me. All of this was on the floor and then it was in my pocket, and I don't know where this jacket has been, it was rented from the Moogle Shop.

The boy nodded solemnly and studied Roxas's selection. "I like shrimp," he said at last, picking up one, spitting on it, then wiping it clean with his finger. He did this with each shrimp in turn, then with the crab ball, then the celery. Roxas wondered if he'd spit on each tiny nut. He wondered how big a problem this kid was carrying around to make him not eat all day and hide in a dark storeroom. "So," said Roxas, "I guess you really don't like weddings."

The kid glanced up at him, then took a nibble out of the unrecognizable thing, blinking his ocean blue eyes. "Do you have a name, kid?" "Yes." "Mine's Roxas. What's yours?" The kid set down the unrecognizable hors d'oeuvre and began working on the nuts. "I'd like dinner," he said. "I'm real hungry." Roxas peered through the crack. Waiters were rushing in and out of the kitchen. "Too many people around," he said. "Are you in some kind of trouble?" the kid asked. Roxas rubbed the back of his head, sighing. "Some kind. Nothing serious. How about you?"

"Not yet" said the kid. "But will you be?" Roxas raised an eyebrow. "When they find me." Roxas nodded. "I guess you've already figured out that you can't stay in here forever." Squinting, the boy surveyed the shelves in the dim room, as if he were seriously considering its possibilities. Roxas laid his hand gently on the boy's arm. "What's the problem, pal? Want to tell me about it?" And yet again, the young child's mind was more focused on his gut. "I'd like dinner," the boy said. "All right, all right!" Roxas said irritably, groaning quietly. "I'd like dessert, too." "You'll take what I can get!" snapped Roxas. "Okay," the boy replied meekly. Roxas sighed, running a hand through his spikey head of blonde hair. "Don't mind me. I'm grouchy."

"I don't mind you," the boy assured him, ever staring at him with those ocean blue eyes, blinking softly. "Look, pal," Roxas said. "Only one waiter left, and plenty of food. You coming with me? Good! There he goes. Raiders, take your mark, get set-" "Where's Sora?" Kairi asked. The wedding party was halfway through their dinner when she realized that her brother wasn't in his chair. "Have you seen Sora?" she said, rising from her seat. Riku pulled her back down. "I wouldn't worry, Kairi. He's probably messing around somewhere."

"But he hasn't eaten all day," said Kairi. "Then he's in the kitchen," Riku said simply. Riku didn't understand. Her little brother had been threatening to run away for weeks. She had tried to explain to Sora what was happening and how nice it would be in their big house with a tennis and a view of Kingdom Hearts, and how great it would be to have Riku as an older brother. He didn't buy any of it. Actually, Kairi didn't, either. She pushed back her chair, too quickly for Riku to stop her, and hurried off to the kitchen.

"Dig in," said Roxas. On the box between the kid and him sat a mound of food-charred filet mignon, shrimp, an assortment of vegetables, salad, which Roxas particually hated veggies, and rolls with lots of butter. "This is pretty good, said the kid. "Pretty good? This is a feast!" said Roxas. "Eat up!" he chuckled. "We'll need our strength to capture dessert." He saw a trace of a smile, then it disappeared. "Who're you in trouble with?" the boy wanted to know. Roxas chewed on a roll for a moment. "It's the caterer, Monsiuer Xaldin. I was working for him and spilled some things. You know, I wet a few people's pants."

The boy smiled, a bigger smile this time. "Did you get Mr. Vexen?" "You mean Frosty? Should I have aimed for him?" The kid nodded, his face brightened considerably by this thought. "Anyway, Xaldin told me to stick to things that didn't spill. Imagine that." "You know what I'd tell him?" said the kid. The pucker in his brow was gone. He was gulping down food and talking with his mouth full. He looked about a hundred times better than he had fifteen minutes earlier. "What?" "I'd tell him: Stick it in your ear!"

"Good idea!" said Roxas. He picked up a piece of celery. "Stick it in your ear, Xaldin." The kid laughed out loud, and wedged in the stalk. "Stick it in your other ear, Xaldin!" the kid commanded. Roxas snatched up another piece of celery. "Stick it in your hair, Dippety-doo!" the boy crowed, carried away with the game. Roxas took a handful of shredded salad and dropped it on his head. Too late he realized the greens were covered with vinaigrette. The kid threw back his head and laughed. "Stick it in your nose, Doo-be-doo!" Well why not? Roxas had been eight years old once, and remembered how funny noses and boogers seemed to little boys. He found two shrimp tails, and stuck them in, their pink fins flaring out of his nostrils. The kid fell off the box laughing. "Stick it in your teeth, Doo-be-doo!"

Two black olives worked well, each stuck on a tooth, so he had two black incisors. "Stick it in-" Roxas was busy adjusting his celery and shrimp tails, He hadn't noticed how the crack of light had widened. He didn't see the kid's face change. "Stick it where, Doo-be-doo?" Then Roxas looked up.


	3. Chapter 3

Kairi froze. She was stunned by the sight of Roxas, celery stuck in his ears, salad shreds in his hair, something squishy and black on his teeth, and-hard as it was to believe that someone older than eight would do this-shrimp tails sticking out of his nose. Roxas looked just as stunned to see her. "Am I in trouble?" Sora asked. "I think I am," Roxas said softly. "You're the supposed to be in the dining room, eating with us," Kairi told Sora. "We're eating in here. We're having a feast. " She looked at the assortment of food piled up on the plates between them, and one side of her mouth curled up.

"Please, Kairi, Dad said we could bring any friends we wanted to the wedding." "And you told him you didn't have any, remember? You said you didn't have one friend in The World That Never Was." "I do now." Kairi looked down at Roxas. He was careful to keep his eyes down, concentrating on the celery, shrimp, and squashed black olives, lining them up on the box in front of him. Disgusting. "Mademoiselle!" "It's Doo-be-doo!" cried Sora. "Close the door! Please, Kairi!" Against her better judgement, she did, for strange it seemed, her brother looked happier than he had in weeks. With her back to the storeroom, she faced Xaldin. "Is something wrong, Princess Kairi?" "No, sir." "Are you certain?" "Yes." she replied, taking Xaldin's arm and walking him away from the door. "Well, you are wanted in the dining room," he said crisply. "It is time for the toast. Everyone is waiting." Kairi hurried out.

They were indeed waiting, and she couldn't avoid an entrance. Kairi blushed as she crossed the room. Riku pulled her toward him, laughing. Then he handed her a champagne glass. A friend of Aqua's made the toast. It went on and on. "Hear, hear," all the guests cried out at last. "Hear, hear, sister!" Riku said, and drank down the contents of his glass. He held it out to be filled again. Kairi took a small sip from hers. "Here, here, sister," he said again, but low and soft this time, his turquoise eyes burning with a strange light. He clinked his glass against hers once more. Then he pulled Kairi too him, so close that she couldn't breathe, and kissed her hard on the mouth.

Kairi sat at her piano, staring at the same measures of music she had opened to five minutes before, one hand resting lightly on her lips. She dropped her hand down to the yellowed keys and ran her fingers over them, eliciting ripples of music, not quite in tune. Then she ran her tounge over her lips. They weren't bruised; it was all in her mind. Still, she was glad that she had talked her father into letting Sora stay in their apartment until after the honeymoon. Six days alone with Riku in that huge house on the ridge was more than she could face, especially with Sora acting up.

Sora, who in their crowded Destiny Islands apartment had rigged up old curtains around his bed because he wanted to be away from "the girls," had been begging to sleep with her for the past two weeks. The night before the wedding she had let him bring his sleeping bag into her room. She had awakened to find him and Cupcake, her pet heartless, on top of her. After their long day at the wedding, she'd probably let him sleep in her room again that night. He was on the floor behind her, playing with his little plushies, arranging them into little groups on the scatter rug.

As usual, Cupcake wanted to stretch out in the middle of it all. Sora's plushie of Roxas rode on his black belly, up and down as he breathed. Every once in a while, a soft phrase would escape Sora. "Looks like my summer vaction...is over." he'd whisper, then make the plushie bend over as if it were depressed. I shouldn't let him stay up this late, Kairi thought. But she couldn't sleep, and she was glad for his company.

Besides, Sora had eaten such a conglomeration of party food, and so many sweets on top of that-thanks to Roxas-he'd probably throw up all over his sleeping bag. And clean sheets, like most everything in the apartment, were packed. "Kairi I've decided," Sora said suddenly. "I'm not going to move." "What?" She lifted her legs and spun around on the piano bench. "I'm staying here. Do you and Cupcake want to stay with me?" "And what about dad?" "He can be Riku's father now," Sora said. Kairi winced, the way she did each time her father made a fuss over Riku.

Xemnas was a nobody, but he acted too warmhearted and affectionate-and trying hard, much too hard. He had no idea how ridiculous Riku found him. "Dad will always be _**our**_ father, and right now he needs us." "Okay," Sora said agreeably. "You and Cupcake can go. I'm going to go ask Roxas to move in with me!" "Roxas!" Apparently he had made up his eight-year-old mind and didn't figure that the matter needed to be discussed further. He played with his plushies contentedly. It was the strangest thing, how he begun to play again after his fun with Roxas.

What had Roxas said to Sora that helped him so? Perhaps nothing, Kairi thought. Perhaps instead of trying to explain their father's marriage for the last three weeks, she should have just stuck shrimp in her nose. "Sora," she said sharply. He looked up from his plushies. "Huh?" "Did Roxas say anything to you about me?" "About you?" He thought for a moment. "No." "Oh." Not that I care, she told herself. "Do you know him?" Sora asked. "No. No, I just thought that maybe, after I found you two in the storeroom, he'd say something about me." The Princess sighed, blowing a strand of her rose colored hair out of her face.

Sora's brow knitted. "Oh, yeah. He asked me if you like to wear pink dresses like that, and if you really believe in angels. I told him about your collection of statues." Her face flushed, she shut her eyes, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "W-What did you tell him about my dress?" "Yes." "Yes?" she exclaimed, blinking her ocean blue eyes. "You told Daddy you thought it was pretty." He giggled, biting his lip. And her father had believed her. Why shouldn't Sora? "Did Roxas say why he was working there tonight?" "Yup." Sora was making his Roxas plushie fly now, sailing it through the air. "Well, why?" Kairi asked, exasperatred.

"He has to make some money for a swim meet. He's a swimmer, Kairi. He goes to other worlds and swims. He needs to fly, I can't remember where." Kairi nodded. Of course. Roxas was just hard up, earning his way. She should stop listening to Selphie. Sora stood up suddenly. "Kairi, don't make me go to that big house. Don't make me go. I don't wanna eat dinner with him!" Kairi reached out for her brother. "New things always seem scary," she reasurred him. "But Aqua has been nice to you, right from the start. Remember who bought you that Terra plushie?" "I /don't/ want to eat dinner with Riku." She didn't know what to say to that. Sora stood next to her, his fingers moving silently over the old piano's keys.

When he'd been younger he used to do that and sing the tunes he was supposed to be playing. "I need a hug," she said, opening her arms. "How about it?" He gave her an unenthusiastic one. "Let's do our duet, okay?" He shrugged. He'd play along with her, but the happiness that she had glimpsed in him earlier had disappeared. They were five measures through when he slammed his hands down on the piano. He banged and banged and banged. "I won't go! I won't go! I won't!" Sora burst into tears, and Kairi pulled him toward her, letting him sob in her arms. When he had settled into exhausted hiccups, she said, "You're tired, Sora. You're just tired," but she knew it was more than that.

While he rested against her she played for him his favorite song, Simple and Clean, then she softened the melody into a lullaby. Soon he was almost asleep and much too big for her to carry into bed. "Come on," she said, helping him up from the bench. Cupcake followed them into her room. "Kairi?" "Hmmm?" "Can I have one of your angels tonight?" "Sure. Which one?" "Namine." "Namine was the pale snow white one, with the painted on blonde hair, Kairi's father had called her "My Loving Daughter's Angel." She stood Namine next to the sleeping bag and the Terra plushie. Then Sora crawled into the sleeping bag, and zipped him in.

"Do want to say the angel prayer about Namine?" she asked. Together they said, "Angel of light, angel above, take care of me tonight, take care of everyone I love." "That's you, Kairi," Sora added, and closed his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Kairi felt as if she floated through most of the week that followed the wedding, with one day slipping into the next, marked only by frustrating discussions with Sora. Selphie and Olette teased her about her absent-mindedness, but more gently than usual. Riku passed her in the hall once or twice and made little jokes about straightening up his room before Friday. Roxas didn't cross her path that week-at least she didn't see him. Everyone in school knew by then about her father and Aqua's marriage.

The wedding had made all the local papers as well as the _**Atlantica Times. **_Kairi shouldn't have been suprised, for Aqua was oftern in the paper, but it was odd to see photos of her father as well. Friday morning finally arrived, and Kairi nosed her Keyblade glider out of the apartment driveway, and took off out into the Lanes Between, feeling suddenly homesick for every crowded, noisy, dilapidated rental place her family had ever lived in. When she returned from school that afternoon, she'd enter a different driveway, in The World That Never Was, one that climbed a ridge high above the Brink of Despair, practically right next to Organization XIII's Castle That Never Was.

The road to the house hugged a low stone wall, and ran between patches of woods, ice blue rose bushes, and laurel. Aqua's woods, roses, and laurel. That afternoon Kairi picked Sora up from school. He had given up the fight a rode behind her on the glider silently, holding onto her waist. Halfway up the ridge, Kairi heard a glider on the bend above them, roaring downhill. Suddenly, the rider and she were face-to-face. She was already as far to the right as she could get. Still he came head-on. Kairi slammed her brakes, as Sora clung to her waist, whimpering.

The glider swerved dangerously close to them, then sped past. Sora's head was buried in Kairi's backside, as he shook. Kairi glanced in her rearview mirror. It was probably Axel, goofing off on Riku's glider. She hoped Riku was with him. But Riku was waiting for them at the house, along with Aqua and Kairi's father, who were just back from their honeymoon. Her father greeted them with big hugs that nearly squished her to death from his big strong arms. Aqua took both of Kairi's hands in hers. She was wise enough to smile at but not touch Sora. Then Kairi and Sora went over to Riku. "I'm the tour guide," he said. Leaning toward Sora, he warned, "Stay close. Some of these rooms are haunted." Sora looked around quickly, letting out a slight whimper, then glanced up at Kairi.

"He's just kidding." "I'm not," said Riku. "Some very un-happy people have lived here." Sora glanced up at Kairi again. She shook her head. On the outside of the house was a stately white clapboard home with heavy black shutters. Wings had been added too each side of the main structure. Kairi would have liked to live in one of the smaller wings with their deep sloping roofs and dormer windows. In the main part of the house, some of the high-ceilinged rooms seemed large as apartments that they had once lived in. The house's wide center hall and sweeping stair separated the living room, library, and solarium from the dining room, kitchen, and family room.

Beyond the family room was a gallery leading to the west wing with Aqua's office. Since her father and Aqua were talking in the office, the downstairs tour stopped at the gallery, in front of three portraits: Ventus, Terra, and Aqua. Next to Aqua there was a blank spot on the wall. "Makes you wonder who's going to hang there," Riku remarked dryly. He smiled, but his turquoise hooded eyes had a haunted look. For a moment, Kairi felt sorry for him. As Aqua's son, he must have felt a lot of pressure to do well. "You will," She said softly. Riku looked her in the eyes, then laughed. His laugh was touched with bitterness. "Come upstairs," he said, taking her hand and leading her to the back stairway that ran up to his room. Sora tagged along silently.

Riku's room was large and had only one thing in common with other guys' rooms-an archaelogical layer of discarded boxers and socks. Beneath that, it showed money and taste: dark leather chairs and glas tables, a desk and computer, and a large entertainment center. Covering the walls were museum prints with striking geometric shapes. In the center of it all was a king-size water bed. "Try it," Riku urged. Kairi leaned down and jiggled it tentatively with her hand. He laughed at her. "What are you afraid of? Come on Sor"-no one called him Sor, Kairi thought-"Show your sister how. Climb on top and give it a good roll around." "I don't want to," said Sora. "Sure you do," Riku was smiling, but his tone of voice threatened.

"Nope," said Sora. "Its a lot of fun." Riku grasped Sora's shoulder's and pushed him forcefully toward the bed. Sora resisted, then tripped and fell onto it. He sprang off just as quickly. "I hate it!" he cried. Riku's mouth hardened into a line. Kairi then sat down on the bed. "It _**is **_fun," she said. She bounced slowly up and down. "Try it with me, Sora." But he had moved out into the hallway. "Lie back on it, Kairi," Riku urged her, his voice low and silky. When she did, he lay down beside her. "We really should get to our unpacking," Kairi said, sitting up quickly. They crossed through a low-roofed passage that was just above the gallery and into the section of the main house where Sora and she had their bedrooms.

Her door was closed and when she opened it, Sora rushed through to Cupcake, who was stretched out luxuriously on Kairi's bed. Oh no, Kairi groaned silently as she glanced around the elaborately decorated room. She had feared the worst when her father said she was in for a big suprise. What she saw was lots of lace, white wood trimmed with gold, and a canopy bed. "Princess furniture," she muttered aloud. Riku grinned. "At least Cupcake looks at home. He's always thought of himself as a king. Do you like heartless, Riku?" "Sure," he said, sitting on the bed next to Cupcake. Cupcake promptly got up and walked to the other end of the bed. Riku looked annoyed. "Thats a king for you," Kairi said lightly. "Well thanks for the tour. I've got alot to unpack." But Riku lounged back on her bed. "This was my room when I was a kid."

"Oh?" Kairi lifted an armload of clothes from a garment bag and pulled open a door to what she though was a closet. Instead she faced a set of stairs. "That was my secret stairway," Riku said. Kairi peered up into the darkness. "I used to hide up in the attic when my mother and father fought. Which was everyday," Riku added. "Did you ever meet my father? You must have because he was always training with Roxas." "At the arena? Yes." Kairi replied, opening the door to a closet. "Wonderful man, isn't he?" His words were heavy with sarcasm. "Loves everyone. Never thinks of himself." "I was young when I met him," Kairi said tactfully. "I was young, too." "Riku . . . I've been wanting to say this. I know it must be hard for you, watching my father move into your father's old room, having Sora and me take over the space that was once yours. I don't blame you for-" "For being glad your here?" he interuppted. "I am. I'm counting on you and Sora to keep the old lady on her best behavior. She knows others are watching her and her new family. Now she's got to be the _**good**_ and _**loving**_ mama. Let me help you with that."

Kairi had picked up her box of angels. "No, really, Riku, I can handle this myself." He reached in his pocket for a penknife and slit the tape on the carton. "What's in it?" "Kairi's angels," said Sora. "The boy speaks!" Sora pressed his lips together. "Soon enough, you won't be able to shut him up," Kairi said. Then she carefully opened the box and began to take out her carefully wrapped statues. Namine came out first. Then an angel carved out of a soft grey stone. Then her favorite, her water angel, a fragile porcelain figure painted in a swirl of blue-green. Riku watched as she unwrapped fifteen statues and set them on a shelf.

His eyes were bright with amusement. "You don't take this stuff seriously, do you?" "What do you mean by seriously?" she asked. "You don't really believe in angels." "I do," said Kairi. He picked up the water angel and made her zoom around the room. "Put her down!" Sora cried. "She's Kairi's favorite." Riku landed her facedown on a pillow. "You're mean!" "He's just playing, Sora," Kairi said, and calmly retrieved the angel. Riku lay back on the bed. "Do you pray to them?" he asked. "Yes. To the angels, not the statues," she explained. "And what wonderful things have these angels done for you? Have they captured Roxas's heart?" Kairi glanced at him with suprise. "No. But then, I didn't pray for that."

Riku laughed softly. "Do you know Roxas?" Sora asked. "Since first grade," Riku replied, then lazily extended an arm toward the heartless. Cupcake rolled away from him. "He was the good kid on my Little League Fruitball team." Riku said, pulling himself up so he could reach Cupcake. He rose at the same time and walked to the other end of the bed. "He was the good kid on _**every**_ team," Riku said. He again reached for Cupcake. The heartless hissed. Kairi saw the color rising in Riku's cheeks. "Don't take it personally, Riku," Kairi said. "Just let Cupcake be for a while. Heartless often play hard to get."

"Like some girls I know," he remarked. "Come here, boy." He thrust his hand toward him. The heartless raised a quick black claw, hissing louder. "Let him come to you," Kairi warned. But Riku took the heartless by the scruff of his neck and pulled her upward. "Don't!" Kairi cried. He pushed his other hand up under her belly. Cupcake bit him hard on the wrist. "Fuck!" He threw Cupcake across the room. Sora ran for the heartless. The heartless ran to Kairi. She scooped him up in her arms. Cupcake's yellow eyes narrowed and he let out a long, heated hiss; he was angry rather than hurt. Riku still watched him, the color high in his cheeks.

"Cupcake was a rouge heartless," Kairi told him, fighting to keep her own temper. "When I found him, he was a little bit of darkness and glowing yellow eyes backed up against Pride Rock, holding his own against a big, torn-up lion. I tried to tell you. You can't come up on him that way. He doesn't trust people easily." "Maybe you should teach him to," Riku said. "_**You**_ trust me, don't you?" He gave her one of his crooked, questioning smiles. Kairi put down Cupcake. The heartless sat under the chair and glowered at Riku. At the sound of footsteps in the hall, he scooted under the bed.

Aqua stood in the doorway. "How's everything?" she asked. "Fine," Kairi lied. "It stinks," said Sora. Aqua blinked, then nodded graciously. "Well then," she said, "we'll have to try to make things better. Do you think we can?" Sora just stared at her. Aqua turned to Kairi. "Did you happen to open that door yet?" Kairi followed her glance up to Riku's secret steps. "The light for the upstairs is on the left side," she told her. Apparently she wanted her to investigate. Kairi opened the door, and turned on the light. Sora, growing curious, slipped under her arm and scooted up the steps. "Wow!" he shouted from above them. "Wow!" Kairi glanced at Aqua. At the sound of Sora's excited voice, her face flushed with pleasure. Riku stared intently out the window.

"Kairi, come see!" Kairi hurried up the steps. She expected to see wooden Keyblades, plushies, or maybe a life-size Terra cut out. Instead she discovered a baby grand piano, a CD and tape player, and two cabinets filled with her musical scores. "If there is anything missing . . ." Aqua began. She was standing next to her, puffing a little from the steps, looking hopeful. Riku had come halfway up, just far enough to see. "Thanks!" was all Kairi could say. "Thanks!" "This is cool, Kairi," Sora said. "And it's for all three of us to share," she told him, glad that he was too excited to remember to sulk. Then she turned to Riku, but he had disappeared.

Dinner that night seemed to last forever. The lavishness of Aqua's gifts, the music room for Kairi and a well stalked playroom for Sora, was both overwhelming and embarrassing. Since Sora, growing moody once more, had decided he would not speak at all at dinner-"Maybe never again," he'd told Kairi with a pout-it was up to her to express their gratitude to Aqua. But in doing so, she walked a tightrope: when Aqua asked a second time if there was anything she and Sora wanted, she saw how Riku's hands tensed. In the middle of dessert, Selphie telephoned. Kairi made the mistake of picking up the call in the hall outside the dining room.

Selphie was hoping for an invitation to the house that evening. Kairi told her the next day would be better. "But I'm all dressed!" Selphie complained. "Of course you are," Kairi rplied, "it's only seven-thirty." "I meant dressed to come over." "Gee, Selphie," Kairi said, playing dumb, "you didn't have to wear anything special to visit me." "What's Riku doing tonight?" "I don't know. I haven't asked him." "Well find out! Find out her name and where she lives," Selphie ordered, "and what she's wearing and where they go. If we don't know her, find out what she looks like. I just know he has a date," she wailed. "he must!"

Kairi had expected this. But she was worn out by the childishness of Sora and Riku; she didn't like listening to the whining of Selphie. "I've got to go now." "I'll die if it's Larxene. Do you know if it's Larxene?" "I don't know. Riku hasn't told me. Listen, I've got to go." "Kairi, wait! You haven't told me anything yet." Kairi sighed. "I'll be taking my usual lunch break at the Moogle Shop tommorrow. Call Olette and meet me at the mall, okay?" "Okay but Kairi-" "I'd better be going now," Kairi said, and hung up the phone. "So how's Selphie?" Riku asked. He was leaning against the frame of the door that led into the dining room, his head cocked, smiling.

"Fine." "What's she doing tonight?" The laughter in his eyes told her that he had overheard the conversation, and that this was a tease, not sincere interest in the information. "I didn't ask her and she hasn't told me. But if you two would like to talk it over with each other-" He laughed, then touched Kairi on the tip of her nose. "Funny," he said. "I hope we keep you."


	5. Chapter 5

It was a relief to go to work Saturday morning, a relief to be back in territory that Kairi knew. Alluring Darkness Mall was in the next town over but drew high-school kids from all the surrounding worlds. Most of them cruised the stores and hung around the food court. A Little Bit of Light, where Kairi worked for the last year and a half, was directly across from the food court. The shop was owned by two best friends, whose selection of costumes, decorations, paperware, knickknacks and potions and elixers was as eccentric as their style of business. Cloud and Zack rarely returned merchandise, and it was as if all the seasons and holidays had run into one another in one small corner of this world. Vampire costumes from Halloween Town hung with princess gowns from Beast's Castle; Easter chickens roosted next to miniature plastic menorahs, pine-cone turkeys, and lion costumes from the last Pride Rock costume party.

Just before one o' clock on Saturday, while waiting for Selphie and Olette to arrive, Kairi was glancing at the day's special orders. As always, they were scrawled on Post-it notes and stuck on the wall. Kairi read one of the tags twice, then pulled it off. Couldn't be, she thought, couldn't be. Maybe there were two of them. Two guys named Roxas? "Cloud, what does this mean? 'For pick-up: Bl Blup Wh and 25 pnc.'?" Cloud squinted at the paper. "Well, twenty-five plates, napkins, and cups, you know that. Ah yes, for Roxas-an order for the swim team party. Blue blow-up whale. I've got it ready. He called up to check on the order this morning."

"Roxy-Roxas called?" Cloud looked hard at Kairi. "Roxas? He didn't call you Kairi," he said. "Why would he call me anything?" Kairi wondered aloud. "I mean, why did my name come up?" "He asked what hours you were working. I told him you take lunch between one and one forty-five, but otherwise you'd be here till six." He smiled at Kairi. "And I put in a few good words for you, dear." "A few good words?" "I told him what a lovely girl you are, and what a shame it is that someone like you couldn't find a deserving man." Kairi winced, but Cloud looked at her sternly again. "He came into the shop last week to place the order," Cloud continued. "He's quite a chunk." "Hunk, Cloud." "Excuse me?" "Roxas is quite a _**hunk**_."

"Well, she's finally admitting it!" said Selphie, striding into the store. Olette came in behind her. "Good work, Cloud!" The warrior winked with a grin, and Kairi stuck the Post-it back on the wall. She began to dig in her pockets for some Munny. "Don't expect to eat," Selphie warned her. "This is an interrogation." Twenty minutes later, Olette was just about finished with her burrito. Selphie had made inroads on her teriyaki chicken. Kairi's pizza remained untouched. "How should I know?" she was saying, waving her arms with frustration. "I didn't get into his medicine cupboard!" They had hashed and rehashed and interpreted and reinterpreted every detail that Kairi had observed about Riku's room.

"Well, I guess you've only been there one night," Selphie said. "But tonight, maybe. You must find out where he's going tonight. Does he have a curfew? Does he-" Kairi picked up an egg rool and stuffed it in Selphie's mouth. "It's Olette's turn to talk," she said. "Oh, that's alright," Olette said. "This is interesting." Kairi opened Olette's folder. "Why don't you read one of your new stories," she said, "before Selphie makes me totally crazy. Olette glanced at Selphie, then cheerfully pulled out a sheaf of papers. "I'm going to use this new one for drama club on Monday. I've been experimenting with _**in media res**_. That means starting right in the middle of the action." Kairi nodded to her encouragingly and took the first bite out of her pizza.

" 'He clutched the gun to his chest,' " Olette said. " 'Hard and blue, cold and unyielding. Photo's of her. Frail and faded photos of her-of her with _**him**_-torn-up, tear soaked, salt-crusted photos lay scattered by his chair. He'd wash them away with his own blood-' "Olette, Olette," Selphie cut in. "This is lunch. Something a pound lighter?" Olette agreeably shuffled through the papers and began again. " 'She clutched his hand to her breast. Warm and damp, soft and supple-' "His hand or her breast?" Selphie interuppted. "Quiet," said Kairi. " '-a hand that could hold her very soul, a hand that could lift'-a whale, a blue, plastic whale, I think. What _**else**_ could that be?" Kairi turned around quickly and looked across the mall to the shop. Zack was holding up a big piece of blue plastic and chatting away to Roxas.

Cloud was standing behind Roxas at the shop entrance, beckoning furiously to her. Kairi glanced at her watch. It was 1:25, half way through her lunch break. "He wants you," said Olette. Kairi shook her head at Cloud, but Cloud kept waving at her. "Go get'im, girl." "No." "Oh, come on Kairi." "You don't understand. He knows I'm on lunch break. He's avoiding me." "Maybe," said Selphie, "but I'd never let a thing like that stop me." Now Roxas had turned around and, noticing Cloud's imitation of a highway flagman, surveyed the crowd in the food court until his eyes came to rest on Kairi. Meanwhile, Zack had managed to hook the inflatable whale up to the store's helium canister.

"Yo!" exclaimed Olette as the whale took on a life of its own, growing like a blue thunder cloud behind Roxas and Cloud. Zack disappeared on the other side of it. He must have cut it loose suddenly, for it rose to the ceiling. Roxas had to jump to nab it. Olette and Selphie started laughing. Cloud shook his finger at Kairi, then turned to talk to Roxas. "I wonder what he's saying to him," Olette said. "A few good words," mumbled Kairi. Minutes later, Roxas emerged from the shop clutching the bag of party stuff, which had been tied up by Cloud and Zack with a fancy blue bow. The whale trailed above and behind him. He kept his eyes straight ahead and marched toward the mall exit.

Selphie called out to him. Bellowed, actually. He couldn't pretend not to hear her. He looked in their direction and then, with a rather grim expression on his face, made his way toward them. Several small children followed him as if he were the Pied Piper. "Hi," he said stiffly. "Selphie. Olette. Kairi. Nice to see you." "Nice to see _**you**_," Selphie said, then eyed the whale. "Who's this? He's kind of cute. Newest member of the swim team?" Kairi noticed that Roxas's knuckles were white on the hand that held the whale's string. Muscles all the way up his arm were tense and bulging. Behind him, the kids were jumping up and down, punching the whale.

"Actually, the newest member of my act," he said, turning to Kairi. "You've seen part of it-the carrot and shrimp-tail routine I do? I don't know what it is. Eight-year-olds find me irresistable." He glanced back at the kids. "Sorry, got to go now." "Noooo!" the kids cried. He let them take a few more bats at the whale, then left, weaving his way quickly through the Saturday shoppers. "Well!" huffed Selphie. "Well!" She poked Kairi with her chopstick. "You really could have said something! Really, girl, I don't know _**what**_ is wrong with you." "What did you want me to say?" "Anything! Something! It doesn't matter-just let him know it's alright to talk to you."

Kairi swallowed hard. She couldn't understand why Roxas did some of the things he did. He made her so self-concious. "You always feel self-concious at first," Olette said, as if reading Kairi's thoughts. "But sooner or later you'll figure out how to act around each other." Selphie leaned forward. "Your problem is that you take it all too seriously, Kairi. Romance is a game, just a game." Kairi sighed and glanced at her watch. "I've got ten more minutes on break. Olette, how about finishing your love story?" Selphie tapped Kairi's arm. "You've got two more months of school," she said. "How about starting yours?"


	6. Chapter 6

Kairi stood barefoot on the clammy floor, curling up her toes. The humidity and the pool's strong smell of chlorine invaded the locker room. Metal doors slammed and the cinder-block room echoed like a cave. Everything about the pool gave her the creeps. The other girls in the drama club were checking out one another's suits, rehearshing their lines, and giggling self conciously. Selphie laid a hand on Kairi's shoulder. "You all right?" "I can handle this." "You're sure?" Selphie didn't sound convinced. "I know my lines," said Kairi, "and all we have to do is jump up and down on the diving board." On the _**high**_ diving board, at the _**deep**_ end, without falling in.

Selphie persisted. "Listen, Kairi, I know you're Marluxia's star, but don't you think you should mention to him that you don't know how to swim and are terrified of water?" "I told you I can do this," Kairi said, then pushed through the swinging locker room door, her legs felt like soft rubber beneath her. She lined up with eleven girls and three guys along the pool's edge. Olette stood on one side of Kairi, Selphie on the other. Kairi gazed down into the luminescent blue-green pool. It's just water, she told herself, nothing more than stuff to drink. And it's not even deep at this end. Olette touched her on the arm. "Well, I guess Selphie is pleased. You invited Riku."

"Riku? Of course I didn't!" Kairi turned swiftly to Selphie. Selphie shrugged. "I wanted to give him a preview of coming attractions. There'll be lots of places to sunbathe on that ridge of yours." "You do look great in your suit," Olette told her. Kairi fumed. Selphie knew how hard this was for, without adding Riku to the scenario. She could have restrained herself just this once. Riku wasn't alone in the bleachers. His friends Axel and Zexion were watching, as well as some other juniors and senoirs who had slipped away from their projects during the activity period. All of the guys watched with intense interest as the girls in the group did their stretching exercises.

Then the class walked and trotted around the perimeter of the pool, performing their vocal drills. "I want to hear every consonant, every _**p**_, _**d**_, and _**t**_," Marluxia called out to them, his own voice amazingly distinct in the huge echo chamber of the pool. "Kairi, Olette, Selphie, this isn't a beauty pageant," he hollered. "_**Just walk.**_" That elicited some soft booing from the stands. "And for darkness sake,Hayner , quit bouncing!" The audience snickered. When the students had finished several circuits, they gathered at the deep end of the pool, beneath the high dive.

"Eyes here," Marluxia commanded. "You're not with me." Leaning close to them, he said, "This is a lesson in enunciation _**and **_concentration. I'll find it unforgivable if any one of you lets these groundlings distract you." At that, nearly everyone in the class glanced toward the stands. The pool door opened, and more spectators entered, all of them guys. "Are we ready? Are we preparing ourselves?" For the exercise, each student had to memorize at least twenty-five lines of poetry or prose, something about love or death-"the two great themes of life and drama," Marluxia had said.

Kairi had patched together to early love lyrics, one funny and one sad. She silently ran over their lines. She thought she knew them by heart, but when the first student climbed the thin metal ladder, every word went out of her head. Kairi's pulse began to race as if she were the one on the ladder. She took deep breaths, the crystal heart her father had given her flashing vibrantly when her nerves were high. "Are you okay?" Olette whispered. "Tell him Kairi!" Seplhie urged. "Explain to Marluxia how you feel." Kairi shook her head. "I'm fine."

The first three students delivered their lines mechanically, but all of them kept their balance, bouncing up and down on the board. Then Hayner fell in. With arms wheeling like some huge, strange bird, he came crashing down into the water. Kairi swallowed hard, the crystal heart flashing brighter and brighter. Marluxia called her name. She climbed the ladder, slowly and steadily, rung by rung, her heart pounding against her ribs. Her arms felt stornger than her shaky legs. She used them to pull herself up onto the board, then stopped.

Below her the water danced, dark wavelets with fluorescent sparkles. Kairi focused on the end of the board, as she had been taught to do on a balance beam, and took three steps. She felt the board give beneath her weight. Her stomach dropped with it, but she kept on walking. "You may begin," said Marluxia. Kairi turned her thoughts inward for a moment, trying to find her lines, trying to remember the pictures she had imagined when she first read the poetry. She knew that if she did this simply as an exerceise, she would not get through it. She had to perform, she had to lose herself in the poems' emotions.

She found the first few words of the humorous poem, and suddenly in her mind's eye saw the pictures she needed: a handsome groom, stunned guests, and a shower of rolling vegetables. Far below her, her audience laughed as she recited lines about the silliness of love. Then, continuing her jumping motion, she found the slower, sadder rhythm of the second poem:'Western wind, when will thou blow, The small rain down can rain? If my love were in my arms, And I in my bed again!' She jumped for two beats more, then stood still at the end of the board, catching her breath.

Suddenly applause rang out. She had done it! When the cheers died down, Maruluxia said, "Nice enough," which was high praise from him. "Thank you sir," Kairi replied. Then she tried to turn around for the walk back. As she started to turn she felt her knees buckle, and she quickly stiffened herself. Don't look down. But she had to see where she was stepping. She took a deep breath and attempted to turn again. "Kairi, is there a problem?" Marluxia asked. "She's afraid of water," Selphie blurted. "And she can't swim." Below Kairi the pool seemed to rock, its edges blurred. She tried to focus on the board. She couldn't. The water came rushing at her, ready to swallow her up.

Then it receded, dropping away, far, far below her. Kairi swayed on her feet. One knee went down. "Oh!" The cry echoed up from the spectators. Her other knee went down and slipped off the board. Kairi clung with the desperation of a heartless. She dangled, half on, half off the board. "Somebody help her!" cried Selphie. Water angel, Kairi prayed silently. Water angel, don't let me fall. You helped me once. Please, angel . . . Then Kairi felt movement in the board. It trembled in her arms. Her hands were damp and slippery. Just drop, she told herself. Trust your angel. Your angel won't let you drown. Water angel, she prayed a third time, but her arms wouldn't let go. The board continued to vibrate. Her hands were slipping.

"Kairi." She turned her face at the sound of his voice, scraping her cheek on the board. Roxas had climbed the ladder and was standing at the other end. "Everything is going to be alright, Kairi." Then he started toward her. The fiberglass plank flexed under his weight. "Don't!" Kairi cried, clinging desperately to the the board. "Don't bend it. Please! I'm afraid." "I can help you. Trust me." Her arms ached. Her head felt light, her skin cold and prickly. Beneath her, the water swirled dizzily. "Listen to me, Kairi. You're not going to be able to keep holding on that way. Roll on your side a little. Roll, okay? Get your right arm free. Come on. I know you can do it."

Kairi slowly shifted her weight. For a moment she thought she was going to roll right off the board. He freed arm waved frantically. "You got it. You got it," he said. He was right. She had a good hold, both hands squarely on the board. "Now inch up. Pull yourself all the way onto the board. That's the way." His voice was steady and sure. "Which knee is your favorite knee?" he asked. She frowned up at him. "Are you right-kneed or left-kneed?" He was smiling at her. "Uh, right-kneed I guess." "Loosen up your right hand, then. And pull your right knee up, tuck it under you." She did. A moment later both knees were under her.

"Now crawl to me." She looked down at the rocking bowl of water. "Come to me, Kairi." The distance was only eight feet-it looked like eight miles. She made her way slowly along the board. Then she felt a hand gripping hard on each arm. He stood up, pulling her up with him, and quickly turned her around. Kairi went limp with relief. "Okay, I'm right behind you now. We'll take one step at a time. I'm right here." He began to move down the ladder. One step at a time, Kairi repeated to herself. If only her legs would stop shaking.

Then she felt his hand lightly on her ankle, guiding it down to the metal rung. At last they stood together at the bottom. Marluxia glanced away from her, obviously uncomfortable. "Thank you," Kairi said quietly to Roxas. Then she rushed into the locker room before Roxas or the others could see her frightened tears. In the parking lot that afternoon, Selphie tried to talk Kairi into coming home with her to her house. "Thanks, but I'm tired," Kairi said. "I think I should go . . . home." It was still strange to think of Aqua's house as home.

"Well, why don't we just drive around some on your glider first?" Selphie suggested. "I know a great ice cream parlor in Twilight Town where none of the kids go, at least none from our school. We can talk without being interrupted." "I don't need to talk, Selphie. I'm okay. Really. But if you want too just hang out, you can come home with _**me**_." "I don't think that would be a very good idea." Kairi cocked her head. "You would think you were the one who'd been stranded up there on the diving board." "It felt like it," said Selphie.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you'd fallen from the ladder and hit your head on the concrete. I just learned invited you to Riku's house." Selphie fiddled with her lipstick, rolling it up and down, up and down in its case. "That's just it. You know how I am, Kairi-like Pluto on the hunt. I can't help myself. If he's there, I'll get comepletely distracted. And right now you need my attention." "But I don't need anybody's attention!" She knew her father probably already knew she had been in some kind of trouble, because of their emotional link. "I had a bad time in drama club and-" "Got rescued." "Got rescued-" "By Roxas." "By Roxas, and now-"

"You'll live happily ever after," Selphie said with a smirk. Kairi corrected her. "Now I'll go home, get pulled into an 'Oh my god are you alright my angel?' hug by dad, and if you want to come with me and start baying at Riku, fine. It keeps us all entertained." Selphie debated for a moment, then stretched her freshly darkened lips. "Did I get it on my teeth?" "If you didn't talk constantly, you wouldn't have this problem," Kairi said, and pointed to a smudge of red. "Right there." When they arrived home, Riku's Keyblade glider was in the driveway. "Well, we're all in luck," said Kairi.

But when they got inside the house, Kairi could hear her father's voice, high and excited, being answered quickly each time by Riku's. She and Selphie exchanged glances, then followed the sound of the voices to Aqua's office. "Is something wrong?" asked Kairi. "That's what's wrong!" said her father, pointing to his organization cloak, that hung in shreds on Aqua's desk chair. "Ouch!" Kairi exclaimed. "What happened to it?" Riku's voice was heavy with sarcasm. "Perhaps my mother was filing her nails," he suggested. "It was my favorite cloak!" Xemnas said. He looked as if he was about to cry. "And this fabric is not cheap, Kairi." "Well, Father, I didn't do it!" "Let me check your nails," said Riku.

Selphie laughed. "Cupcake did it," Xemnas said. Kairi couldn't believe her ears. The man who told her she could keep the innocent little heartless in the first place, was now accusing the poor thing. "Cupcake!" Kairi shook her head. "That's impossible! Cupcake's never torn anything up in her life!" "Cupcake doesn't like Aqua," Sora said. He had been standing quietly in the corner of the room. "He did because he's acting out because he doesn't like Aqua." Xemnas whirled around. Kairi caught her father by the hand. "Easy," she said. Then she examined the cloak. Riku watched her and examined the cloak himself. It seemed to Kairi to be too finely shredded-a job too convincing for Sora to have pulled it off. Cupcake must have been guilty. "We're going to have to declaw him," said Xemnas. "No!" "Kairi, there are too many valuable things in this house. They cannot be ruined. Cupcake will have to be declawed."

"I won't let you." "He's just a heartless." "And this is just a cloak," Kairi said, her voice cold and steely, pain in her eyes. "It's that, or get rid of him." Kairi folded her arms across her chest. In her boots, she was two inches taller than her father. "Kairi-" She could see her father's eyes misting over. That was what he had been like for the past few months, emotional, pleading, insisting with tears. "Kairi, this is a new life, these are new ways for all of us. You told me yourself: For all good things that are happening, this isn't a fairytale ending. We all have to try and make it work, sweetie." "Where is Cupcake now?" Kairi asked, the same pain in her eyes.

"In your bedroom. I closed the hall door, and the attic one too, so he wouldn't ruin anything else." Kairi turned to Riku. "Would you get Selphie something to drink?" "Of course," he said. Then Kairi went up to her room. She sat for a long time, cradling Cupcake in her lap and gazing at her water angel. "What do I do now, angel?" she prayed. "What do I do now? Don't tell me to give up Cupcake! I can't give him up! I can't!" In the end, Kairi couldn't take the darkness in the outdoors away from Cupcake. She couldn't leave her fierce little ball of darkness vulnerable anything that would take a swipe at him. Though it just about broke her heart, and Sora's too, she posted the adoption ad on the school bulletin board Thursday afternoon.

Thursday night she got a call. Sora was in her room doing his homework and picked up the phone. He somberly handed it over to her. "It's a man," he said. "He wants to adopt Cupcake." Kairi frowned and took the reciever. "Hello?" "Hi. How are you?" the caller asked. "Fine," Kairi replied stiffly. Did it matter how she was? She immediately disliked this person-because he hoped to take away Cupcake. "Good. Uh . . . did you find a home for your heartless?" "No," she said. "I'd like to have her." Kairi blinked hard. She didn't want Sora to see her cry. She should be glad and relieved that someone wanted a full grown shadow heartless.

"Are you there?" asked the caller. "Yes." "I'd take good care of him, feed him and wash him." "You don't wash heartless." She fought a silent laugh. "I'd learn what I had to do," he said. "I think he'd like it here. It's a comfortable place." Kairi nodded silently. "Hello?" She turned her back on Sora. "Listen," she said into the phone. "Cupcake means a lot to me. If you don't mind, I'd like to see your home myself and talk to you in person." "I don't mind at all!" the caller replied cheerfully. "Let me give you my address." She copied it down. "And who is this?" she asked. "Roxas."


	7. Chapter 7

"But you hate heartless," Repliku said on Friday afternoon. "You've always hated heartless." "I think I may enjoy a heartless," Roxas replied, nodding. He moved quickly around the living room, clearing piles of stuff off the chairs: His music sheets and stacks of photocopied Keyblade pictures, his own swim schedules and old copies of Nobody Monthly, the previous night's tub of Sea Salt ice cream. His friends would wonder why he had gone to all the trouble. They usually just sat on the floor to chat and eat. Repliku was watching him and frowning.

"Are you sure you will enjoy it? Does the heartless have a tendency to go rouge? Does it have a religion?" "All homes need a pet," Roxas cut in. "In homes where there's a heartless, Keybladers are the pets. I'm telling you, Roxas, heartless have minds of their own. They're worse than girls. If you think Kairi can drive you crazy-Wait a minute . . . wait a minute . . ." Repliku tapped his fingers on the table. "I remember an ad on the bulletin board." "That's nice," Roxas said, and handed his friend his gym bag. "You said you had to get home early today." Repliku dropped his bag, he had finally figured out what was up. "And miss this? I was there the last time you made a fool of yourself; why shouldn't I stay for the fun this time?"

He threw himself down on the rug in front of the fireplace. "You're really enjoying my misery, aren't you?" Roxas murmured. Repliku rolled over on his back and put his hands behind his head. "Roxas, me and the guys have been watching you get all the girls for the last three years-no, for the last seven; you were hot even in the fifth grade. Darn right I'm enjoying it!" Roxas grimaced, then turned his attention to a coffee stain that seemed to have tripled in size since he'd last noticed it. He had no idea how to get something like that out of a rug.

He wondered if Kairi would find his old frame house small and worn and unbelievably cluttered. "So what's the deal?" Repliku asked. "One date for taking her heartless? Maybe one date for each week you keep it," he suggested. "Her friend Selphie said she's very attatched to this heartless." Roxas smiled, rather pleased with himself. "I'm offering visitation rights." Repliku snorted. "What happens when Kairi doesn't miss the old heart stealer anymore?" "She'll miss me," Roxas said, sounding confident. The doorbell rang. His confidence evaporated. "Quick, how do you pick up a heartless?" "Buy him a drink." "I'm serious!" "By it's neck." "You're kidding!" "Yup. I'm kidding." The doorbell rang again.

Roxas hurried to answer it. Was it his imagination, or did Kairi blush a little when he opened the door? Her mouth was definately rosy. Her hair shone like a halo of roses, and her ocean blue eyes made him think of warm, tropical seas. "I've brought Cupcake," she said. "Cupcake?" "My heartless." Looking down, he saw all kinds of toys made of light on the porch beside her. "Oh, Cupcake! Great. Great." Why did she always reduce him to one-word sentences? "You're still interested, aren't you?" A small line of worry creased her brow. "Oh, he's interested all right," Repliku replied, rising up behind Roxas.

Kairi stepped into the house and looked about without putting down her heartless carrier. "I'm Repliku. I've seen you around a lot at school." Kairi nodded and smiled somewhat distantly. "You were at the wedding, too." "Right. Me and Roxas. I'm the one who made it all the way through dessert before being fired." Kairi smiled again, a friendlier smile this time, then she got back to business. "Cupcake's chew toy is outside," she said to Roxas. "And some cans of his favorite food. I also brought his basket and cushion, but he never uses them." Roxas nodded. Kairi's hair was blowing in the draft from the door. He wanted to touch it. He wanted to brush it off her cheek and kiss her.

"How would you feel about sharing your bed?" she asked. Roxas blinked. "Excuse me?" "He'd love to!" Repliku said. Roxas shot him a look. "Good," Kairi said, failing to notice Repliku's wink. "Cupcake can be a pillow hog, but all you have to do is roll him over." Repliku laughed out loud, then he and Roxas brought in the pile of stuff. "Are you a heartless person?" Kairi asked Repliku. "No," he replied, "but maybe there's hope for me." He leaned down to peer into the carrier. "I mean, look how fast Roxas converted. Hello, Cupcake. We're going to have a great time playing together." "Too bad you'll have to wait till next time," said Roxas. "Repliku was just leaving." he told Kairi.

Repliku straightened up with a look of mock suprise. "I'm leaving? So soon?" "Not soon enough," Roxas said, holding open the door. "Okay, okay. Catch you later, Cupcake. Maybe we can hunt hearts together." When Repliku left, the room grew suddenly quiet. Roxas couldn't think of anything to say. He had a list of questions-somewhere-behind the sofa where all the other stuff was jammed. But Kairi didn't seem to expect conversation. She unlatched the door of the heartless carrier and pulled out Cupcake. The heartless was funny looking, mostly black, but with one white glowing claw of light, and a splash of the same light on his face.

"Okay, baby." Kairi said holding Cupcake in her arms, stroking him softly around the antennae. Cupcake blinked his huge yellow eyes at Roxas, happily soaking up Kairi's attention. I can't believe I'm jealous of a heartless, Roxas thought. When Kairi finally set Cupcake on the floor, Roxas held out his hand. The heartless gave him a snooty look and walked away. "You have to let him come to you," Kairi advised him. "Ignore him, for a few days, if necessary. When he gets lonely enough, he'll come around on his own." Would Kairi ever? Roxas picked up a yellow pad. "How about giving me feeding instructions?" She had already typed them up for him. "And here are Cupcake's medical records, straight from Vexen, and here's a list of shots he gets regularly, and Vexen's number if you have any questions."

She seemed in a rush to get it over with. "And here are his toys." Kairi's voice faltered. "This is hard for you, isn't it?" he said gently. "And here's his heart chew toy; he loves to cuddle this a-at night." Her voice faltered and broke once more. "But not to be washed." Roxas said. Kairi bit her lip. "You don't know anything about heartless, do you?" "I'll learn, I promise. He'll be good for me, and I'll be good for him. Of course, you can visit him as much as you like, Kairi. He'll still be your heartless. He'll just be my heartless, too. You can come see him whenever you want." "No," Kairi said firmly. "No." "No?" If he had a heart, it would've stopped cold.

He was still sitting upright holding a pile of heartless stuff, but he was sure he'd just had cardiac arrest. "It will only mix him up," Kairi explained, pain and sadness in those oceanic pools for eyes she had. "And I don't think-I don't think I can stand to." He longed to reach out to touch her then, to take one of her slender hands in his, but he didn't dare. Instead he pretended to study the chew toy, and waited for Kairi to regain her composure. Cupcake came over to sniff the toy, then pushed his head against it. Roxas tossed it across the room for him. "He likes it best when you play tug of war with him.." Kairi said. She took his hand and guided it. "Don't tug too hard. I think he likes you, Roxas." She took her hand away. Roxas continued to play with Cupcake.

The heartless suddenly rolled over on his back. Kairi laughed. "Well, well! You little tramp!" With his hand Roxas rubbed his belly. The darkness the heartless was eminating felt warm. "I wonder why heartless don't like water," he mused. "If you threw one in a pool, would it swim?" "Don't you dare!" Kairi said. "Don't you dare do that!" The heartless leaped to its feet and scooted under a chair. Roxas looked at Kairi with surprise. "Of course I couldn't. I was just wondering." She dropped her eyes. Color crept into her cheeks. "Is that what happened to you, Kairi?" She didn't answer, he tried again. "What made you afraid of water?" he asked quietly. "Something from when you were a little kid?"

Kairi wouldn't look at him. "I owe you big time," she said, "for getting me down from that board." "You don't owe me anything. I was just asking because I was trying to understand. Swimming is my life, aside from being a Keyblader. It's hard for me to imagine what it's like not to love water." "I don't see how you could understand," Kairi said. "Water like you is like wind to a bird. It lets you fly. At least that's how it looks. It's hard for me to imagine how that feels." "What made you afraid of it?" he persisted. "Who made you afraid of it?" She thought fem or a moment. "I don't even remember her name. One of my father's girlfriends. He had a lot of them and some of them were nice. But she was mean. She took us to a friend's pool. I was four, I think. I didn't know to swim and didn't want to go in the water. I guess I got annoying after a while, hanging onto Dad."

She swallowed and looked up at Roxas. "And?" he said softly. "Dad went inside for a few minutes, to help with sandwiches or something. She grabbed hold of me. I knew what she was going to do and started kicking and screaming, but Dad didn't hear me. She dragged me over to the pool's edge. 'Let's see if she'll swim!' he said, 'Let's see if the princess will swim!' She picked me up high and threw me in." Roxas flinched, as if he were there, actually watching it. "The water was way over my head," Kairi continued. "I floundered around, kicking and moving my arms, but I couldn't keep my face above water. I started choking on it, swallowing it. I couldn't get up for air." Roxas stared at her, incredulous. "And this girl, did she jump in after you?" "No." Kairi had risen to her feet and was moving around the room like a restless dusk. Cupcake poked his head out to watch, a dust ball hanging from his antennae.

"I'm pretty sure she was drunk," Kairi said. "Everything started getting blurry to me. Then dark. My arms and legs seemed so heavy, my chest felt like it would burst. I prayed. For the first time in my life, I prayed to my guardian angel. Then I felt myself being lifted up, held above the water. My lungs stopped hurting, my eyes grew clear. I don't remember much about the angel, except that she was shining, and many colors, and beautiful. Kairi glanced sideways at Roxas, then broke into a wide smile. She came back to him and sat on the floor again, facing him. "It's okay. I don't expect you to believe me. Nobody else did. Apparently my father had come out to see what was going on and his friend had turned around to speak to him, so no one saw how I made it back to the pool's edge. They just figured that, thrown in, a kid would learn how to swim."

Her face was wistful. She was somewhere else again, still remembering. "I'd like to believe in your angel," Roxas said. Then he shrugged. "Sorry." He had heard stories like it before. But it was just the way the mind worked, he thought: it was the way certain minds responded in a crisis. "You know, when I was up there on the board Monday," Kairi said. "I prayed to my water angel." "But all you got was me," Roxas pointed out. "Good enough," she replied, and laughed a little. "Kairi-" He tried to still the tremor in his voice, not wanting her to know how much he was hoping. "I could teach you how to swim." Her eyes opened wide. "After school. The coach would let us in the pool." Her hands, her eyes, everything about her was still and watching him. "It's a great feeling, Kairi. Do you know what it's like to float on a lake, a circle of trees around , a big blue bowl of sky above you? You're just lying on top of the water, sun sparkling at the tips of your fingers and toes. Do you know how it feels to swim in the ocean? To be swimming hard and have a wave catch you and effortlessly lift you up-"

Without out realizing what he was doing, he put a hand on each arm and lifted her. Her skin was covered with goosebumps. "Sorry," he said, letting her down quickly. "I'm sorry. I got carried away." "It's okay," she said, but she wouldn't look at him again. He wondered which she was more afraid of, the water or him. Probable him, he thought, and he didn't know what to do about it. "I'd make it fun, just like when I teach the kids at summer camp," Roxas said encouragingly. "Think about it, okay?" She nodded. Clearly he made her uncomfortable. He wished he could apologize for plowing into her in the hall, for showing up at her father's wedding, for calling her about her heartless. He wanted to promise her that he wouldn't bother her anymore, hoping that would put her at ease. But she suddenly looked so confused and tired; it seemed best not to say anything else.

"I'll be real good to Cupcake," he told her. "If something changes and you want him back, give me a call. And if you decide that you do want to visit him, I don't have to be around. Okay?" Kairi looked up at him wonderingly. "So," he said. standing up. "I'm the cook Tuesdays and Fridays. I'd better start dinner." "What are you fixing?" Kairi asked. "Cookie dough and sea-salt ice cream. Oh, no, sorry, that's for Cupcake." It was a weak joke, but she smiled. "Stay and play with Cupcake as long as you like." he told her. "Thank you." Then he headed toward the kitchen to give her some time alone with the heartless. But before he had gotten to the doorway he heard her say, "Good-bye, Cupcake." A moment later, the front door clicked and shut behind her.

When Kairi emerged from the locker room, Roxas was already in the water. Demyx had let her into the locked pool area. She had expected the water warrior to stare at her in disbelief-"You mean you don't know how to swim?" But his eyes, like his attitude was kind and unquestioning. He greeted her, then retreated to his office. It had taken Kairi a week to decide to do this. She had swum in her dreams, for miles some nights. When she told Roxas she wanted to learn, his blue eyes lit up. Kairi was pretty sure she had successfully discouraged any romantic interest he had in her; according to Selphie, he was dating two other girls. But she felt as if her was her friend. Getting her down from the board, which had made her father like him a little bit more, taking in Cupcake, helping her face her greatest fear-well, second greatest. Her first was losing her heart and falling into darkness. He was there when she needed him, the way no other guy had been, the way a real friend would be.

Now she watched him doing laps. The water flowed past his muscular body; it lifted him up as he moved swiftly and powerfully through it. When he swam the butterfly, his arms pulling up out of the water like wings, he was visual music-strong, rhythmic, graceful. Kairi watched for several minutes, then came back to the reason she was there. She walked to the pool's edge at the shallow end and stared down at it. Then she and slipped in her legs. It was warm. Soothing. Still, she was cold all over. She gritted her teeth and slid off the side. The water rose to just above her shoulders. She imagined it inching up over her throat, her mouth.

She closed her eyes and gripped the side of the pool, trying to stop the fear rising within her as her crystal heart flashed. Water angel, she prayed, don't let go of me. I'm trusting you, angel. I'm in your hands. Roxas stopped swimming. "You're here," he said. "You're in." He looked so pleased that for a moment, a very brief moment, she forgot her fear. "How are you doing?" he asked. "Fine. You don't mind if I just stand here and shake, do you?" "You'll warm up if you move around," he told her. She glanced down at the water. "Come on, let's take a walk." He took her hand and walked her along the edge of the pool, as if they were walking the mall, though in the resistant water each step was in slow motion.

"Do you want me to tell you about Cupcake and the chaos he's creating at home?" "Sure," said Kairi. "Did he find that tub of sea-salt ice cream wedged into your television cabinet?" Roxas looked startled for a moment, then recovered. "Yes, right after he burrowed through all that stuff I'd crammed behind the sofa." He chattered on, telling her several Cupcake stories, walking her up and down the short end of the pool. When they stopped, he said, "I think we'd better get some water on your face." She had been dreading that. He scooped up handfuls of it over her forehead and cheeks as if he were washing a baby. "I do that in the shower," Kairi said tartly. "Well excuse me, Miss Advanced. We'll go on to the next step." He grinned at her. "Take a big breath. I want to see you looking at me under there. The chlorine will sting a little, but I want to see those big blue eyes and little bubbles coming out of your nose. Suck in above the water, blow out below it. Got it? One, two, three."

He pulled her down with him. Up and down they bobbed, he holding her down there a little longer each time, making faces at her. Kairi came up to the surface, sputtering and choking. "Now, if you can't follow a few simple directions . . ." he began. "You're making me laugh!" said Kairi. "It's no fair when you make me laugh." She pouted, biting her lip. "All right, all right. Now we get serious. Sort of." He taught her how she would breathe when swimming, pretending the water was a pillow, turning her head to the side to breathe in. She practiced, gripping the side of the pool with her hands. Then he took her hands and pulled her through the water. She naturally started kicking her feet to keep them afloat behind her. It was tempting to pull her head up and look at him. Once Kairi did and found him smiling at her.

They worked on kicking for a while. After she practiced on the side, they played train. He had her grab his ankles, following behind him in the water, he swimming with his arms and she kicking her feet. It amazed her that he could pull her so swiftly with just the strength of his arms. When they stopped, he asked her, "Are you getting tired? Do you want to sit up on the side for a few minutes?" Kairi shook her head no. "If I get out, I don't know if I'll get in again." "You've got guts," he said. She laughed. "I'm standing in water just up to my shoulders and you call that guts?" "Yup." He swam in a circle around her. "Kairi, everyone has something they're afraid of. You're one of the few people who face their fear. But then, I always knew you were the gutsy type. I knew from the first day, when I saw you striding across the cafeteria, that cheerleader, who was supposed to be leading you around, following,"

"I was hungry," Kairi said. "And that was a bit of a performance." "Well you carried it off." She smiled and he reflected her smile, his baby blue eyes alight and lashes spangled with water drops. "Okay," he said. "Want to float on your back?" "No. But I will." "It's easy." Roxas stretched back in the water and floated, looking entirely relaxed. "You see what I'm doing?" Looking awfully good, she thought, then thanked her angels that he couldn't read minds as well as Olette. "I keep my hips up, arch my back, then just let everything go. You try it." Kairi did, and sank. The old panic returned to for a moment. "You were sitting," he told her. "You let your seat drop down. Try again." As she lay back again he slid an arm under her. "Easy now, don't fight it. Back arched. That's the way." he slipped his arm out from under her.

Kairi pulled her head up and started to sink again. She stood up angrily. Her wet rose-colored hair coming loose out of her ponytail holder and slapped against her neck. Roxas laughed. "That's how I imagine Cupcake would look if he ever got wet." "A little kid could do this," Kairi told him. "Kids can do a lot of things," he replied, "because kids trust. The trick in swimming is not to fight the water. Go with it. Play with it. Give yourself over to it." He splashed her lightly. "How about trying it?" She lay back. She felt his left arm under the arch in her back. With his right hand he gently eased her head back. The water lapped around her forehead and chin. Kairi closed her eyes and gave herself over to the water. She imagined herself floating in Atlantica, sunlight sparkling down through the water onto her. When she opened her eyes, he was looking down at her. His face was like the sun, warming her, brightening the air around it.

"I'm floating," she whispered. "You're floating," he said softly, his face bending closer. "Floating . . ." They read it off each other's lips, their faces close, so close- "Roxas!" Roxas straightened up and Kairi sank, squeaking. It was Demyx, and his terrible timing, calling from the door of his office. "Sorry to toss you two out," he hollered, "but I gotta head home in about ten minutes." "No problem, Coach," Roxas called back. "I'll be staying late tomorrow," Demyx added, coming a few feet out of his office. "Maybe you two can pick up where you left off?" Roxas looked at Kairi. She shrugged, then nodded, but kept her eyes down. "Maybe," he said.


	8. Chapter 8

Kairi took a long route home that afternoon, gliding down a road that ran south from the center of Dark City, following a tangle of shady streets lined with newer houses. She glided round and round, unwilling to make the final turn and head for the ridge. There was so much to think about. Why was Roxas doing this? Was he just feeling sorry for her? Did he want to be her friend? Did he want more than a friendship? But it wasn't these questions that kept her gliding. It was the luxury of remembering: how he had looked rising out of the water, a shimmer of drops spilling off him; how he had touched her, gently, so gently. At home, she'd have to listen to her father's story about the latest round of snobbery that he had encountered; he'd talk about the ups and downs of Sora's life as a third grader; he'd find a new way to say thanks for the things Aqua kept giving him, and walk on eggshells around Riku.

With all that going on, the moments of the afternoon would fade and be lost forever. In her mind, Kairi saw Roxas in slow motion, swimming in a circle around her. She remembered the way his hands had felt when he helped her float, the way he had slowly tilted her head back in the water. She trembled with pleasure, and a little fear. Angels don't let go of me! she prayed. This was something different from a crush. This was something that could flood out every other thought and feeling. Maybe I should back out now, Kairi thought, before I'm in over my head, before I get hurt. I'll call him tonight. But then she remembered how he had pulled her through the water, his face full of light and laughter.

Kairi didn't see the other glider coming. Lost in thought, responding only to what was directly in front of her, she didn't see the dark glider run the stop sign until the very last second. She slammed on her brakes. Both gliders squealed and spun around, and for moment they were side by side, lightly touching. Then they veered away from each other. Letting her breath out slowly, Kairi sat in the middle of the intersection. The other driver threw off his helmet. A stream of your-letter words came rushing at her. The shouting stopped suddenly. Kairi turned to look coolly at the driver. "Riku!" She took her helmet off. His skin was pale except for the scarlet that had crept up his cheeks.

He stared at her, then glanced around the intersection, looking surprised, as if he were just now recognizing where he was and what had happened. "Are you okay?" she asked. "Yes . . .yes. Are you?" "Well, I'm breathing again." "I'm sorry," he said. "I-I wasn't paying attention, I guess. And I didn't know it was you, Kairi." Though his anger had subsided, he was still looked upset. "That's okay," she said. "I was gliding in a daze, too." He looked at the wet towel around her shoulders. "What are you doing around here?" he wanted to know. She wondered if he would make the connection between the wet towel and swimming and Roxas. But she hadn't even told Olette or Selphie what she was doing. Besides, it wouldn't matter to Riku.

"I need to think about something. I know it sounds crazy, with all the space we have at the house, but I, well-" "Needed other space," he finished for her. "I know how that is. Are you heading home now?" "Yes." "Follow me." He gave her a brief, lopsided smile. "Behind me, you'll be safer." "You're sure you're okay?"she asked. His eyes still looked troubled. He nodded, then revved up his glider. When they arrive home, Aqua landed in the driveway after them. She greeted Kairi, then turned to Riku. "So how is your father?" Riku shrugged. "Same as always." "I'm glad you went to visit him today." "I gave him your good wishes and fondest reguards," Riku said, his face and voice dead-pan. Aqua nodded and stepped around a spilled box of colored chalk. She bent over to look at what had once been clean, white concrete at the edge of her driveway.

"Is anything new with him? Is there anything I should know about?" she asked. She was studying the chalk drawings done by Sora; she didn't catch the pause, didn't see the emotion on Riku's face that passed as fast as it came. But Kairi did. "Nothing new," he said to his mother. "Good." Kairi waited till the door closed behind Aqua. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked Riku. He spun around, as if he had forgotten that she was there. "Talk about what?" Kairi hesitated, then said, "You just told your mother that everything's fine with your dad. But from the look on your face, at the intersection and just now, when you were talking about him, I thought maybe . . ." Riku played with his keys. "You're right. Things aren't fine. There may be some trouble ahead." "With your father?" "I can't talk about it. Look, I appriciate your concern, but I can handle this myself. If you really want to help me, then don't say anything to anyone, alright? Don't even mention our little run-in. Promise me." His eyes held hers.

Kairi shrugged. "Promise," she said. "But if you change your mind, you know where to find me." "In the middle of an intersection," he said, giving her one of his wry smiles, then went inside. Before going in, Kairi stopped to study Sora's concrete masterpiece. She recognized the bright aqua of her water angel, and the strong snow white lines of Namine. After a moment, she identifed a few dragon, they were easy to spot; they usually looked as if they had swallowed a vat full of lighter fluid, and they always fought the angels. But what was that? A round head, with funny bits of blonde hair, and an orange stick coming out of each ear? The name was scrawled on the side. Roxas. Picking up a piece of black chalk, Kairi filled in two olive teeth. Now he looked like the guy who was kind enough to cheer up an eight-year-old having a very tough day. Kairi remembered the look on Roxas's face when she had yanked open the storeroom door. She threw back her head and laughed. Back out now? Who was she kidding?

Roxas was sure he had scared Kairi away that first day, but she came back, and from the second lesson on he was very careful. He barely touched her; he coached her like a professional; and he kept dating what's her name and that other girl. But it was getting more difficult for him each day, being alone with Kairi, standing so close to her, hoping for some sign that she wanted something other than lessons and friendship. "I think it's time, Cupcake," he said to the heartless after two frustrating weeks of lessons. "She's not interested, and I can't stand it anymore. I'm going to get Kairi to sign up at the gym." Cupcake purred. "Then I'm going to find myself a monastery with a swim team." The nest day he made a concious descision not to change into his bathing suit. He pocketed a brochure for the nearest gym, strode out of the pool office, then stopped.

Kairi wasn't there. She forgot, he thought, then he saw Kairi's towel and ponytail holder down by the deep end. "Kairi!" He ran to the edge of the pool and saw her in the twelve-foot section, lying all the way at the bottom, motionless. "Oh, my God!" He dove straight off to the side, pulling, pulling through the water to get to her. He yanked her up to the surface and swam for the pool's edge. It was difficult; she had come to and was struggling with him. His clothes were an extra, dragging weight. He heaved Kairi up on the side of the pool and sprang up beside her. "What in the world-?" he asked. She wasnt' coughing, wasn't sputtering, wasn't out of breath. She was just staring at him, at his soaked shirt, his clinging jeans, his sagging socks. Roxas stared back, then threw his waterlogged shoes as far as he could, down several rows of bleachers.

"What were you doing?" "What were _**you **_doing?" She opened her hand to show him a shiny piece of Munny. "Diving for this." Anger surged through him. "The first rule of swimming, Kairi, is never, _**never **_swim alone!" "But I had to do it, Roxas! I had to see if I could face my nightmare without you, without my-my lifeguard close by. And I could, I did it." she said, a dazzling smile breaking over her face. Her hair was hanging loose around her shoulders. Her eyes were smiling into his, the color of a crystal blue sea in the brilliant sunlight. Then she blinked. "Is that what you were doing-being a lifeguard, being a hero?" "No, Kairi," he said quietly, and stood up. "I was proving once again that I'm a hero to everyone but you." "Wait a minute," she said, but he started to walk away.

"Wait a minute!" He didn't get far, not with the weight of her hanging on to one leg. "I said _**wait**_." He tried to pull away, but she had him firmly anchored. "Is that what you want, for me to say you're a hero?" He grimaced. "I guess not. I guess I thought it would get me what I want. But it didn't." "Well what do you want?" she asked. You, he thought. Was there any point in telling her now? "To change into some dry clothes," he said. "I've got some sweats in my locker." "Okay." She released his leg. But before he could move away, she caught his hand. She held it in both of her hands for a moment, then lightly kissed the tips of his fingers. She peeked up at him, gave a little shrug, then let go. But now it was he who held on, twining his fingers in hers. After a moment of hesitation, she rested her head againt his hand. Could she feel it-the way just her slightest touch made him heat up? He knelt down. Taking her other hand is his, he kissed her fingertips, then he laid his cheek in her palm.

She lifted up his face. "Kairi," he said. The word was like a kiss. "Kairi." The word became a kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

"He beat me!" Roxas said. "Sora beat me two out of three games!" Kairi rested her hands on the piano keys, looked over her shoulder at Roxas, and laughed. It had been a week since their first trembling kiss. Every night she had fallen asleep dreaming about that kiss, and each kiss after. It was all so incredible to her. She was aware of the lightest touch, the softest brush against him. Everytime her called her name, her answer came from somewhere deep inside her. Yet there was something so easy and natural about being with him. Sometimes it felt as if Roxas had been part of her life for years, sprawled as he was now on the floor of her music room, playing checkers with Sora.

"I can't believe he beat me two out of three!" "Almost three out of three," Sora crowed. "That will teach you not to mess with Xion," Kairi said. Roxas frowned down at the angel that stood alone on the checkerboard. Sora always used her as one of his playing pieces. The three-inch china angel had once been Kairi's, but when Sora was in kindergarten, he'd decided to pretty her up. Pink-frost nail polish on her dress and crusty gold glitter on her black hair had given her a whole new look; and Kairi had given her to Sora. "Xion's very smart," he told Roxas. Roxas glanced up doubtfully at Kairi. "Maybe next time Sora will let you borrow her and you can win," Kairi said with a smile, then turned to Sora. "Isn't it getting late?" "Why do you always ask that?" her brother asked. Roxas grinned. "Because she's trying to get rid of you. Come on. We'll read two stories, like the last time, then it's lights out."

He walked Sora down to his bedroom. Kairi stayed upstairs and began to flip through her piano book, looking for songs that Roxas might like. He was into hard rock and Jesse McCartney, but she couldn't exactly play it on the piano. He knew nothing about Beethoven and Bach. Roxas's idea of classical music was Right Where You Want Me or Beautiful Soul. She ran through several songs from Repo! The Genetic Opera, then put the book aside. All night there had been music running through her like a silver river. Now she turned out the light and played it from memory, Beethoven's Fur Elise. Roxas returned in the middle of the song. He saw the slight hesitation in her hands and heard the pause in the music. "Don't stop," he said softly, and came to stand behind her.

Kairi played to the end. For a few moments after the last chord, niether of them spoke, niether of them moved. There was only the still, silver moonlight on the piano keys, and the music, the way music can linger on sometimes in silence. Then Kairi rested her back against him. "You want to dance?" Roxas asked. Kairi laughed, and he pulled her up, and they danced a circle around the room. She laid her head on his shoulder, and felt his strong arms around her. They danced slow, slower. She wished he would never let go. "How do you do that?" he whispered. "How do you dance with me and play the piano at the same time?" "At the same time?" she asked. "Isn't that you making the music I hear?" Kairi pulled her head up. "Roxas, that line is so . . .so . . ." "Corny," he said. "But it got you to look up at me." Then he swiftly lowered his mouth and stole a long, soft kiss.

"Don't forget to tell Roxas to stop by the shop sometime," Cloud said. "Zack and I would love to see him again. We're very fond of chunks." "Hunks, Cloud," Kairi said with a grin. "Roxas is a hunk." My hunk, she thought, then picked up a box wrapped in brown paper. "Is this everything to be delivered?" "Yes, thank you dear. I know it's out of your way." "Not too far," Kairi said, starting out the door. "Five-twenty-eight Heart Street," Zack called from the back of the store. "Five-thirty," Cloud said quietly. Well, that narrows it down, Kairi thought, passing through the door of A Little Bit of Light. She glanced at her watch. Now she wouldn't have time to spend with her friends. Selphie and Olette had been waiting for her at the mall's food court. "You said you would be off twenty minutes ago," Selphie complained. "I know. It's been one of those days," Kairi replied. "Will you walk me to my glider? I have to deliver this, then get right home."

"Did you hear that? She has to get right home," Selphie said to Olette. "for a birthday party, that's what she says. She says it's Sora's ninth birthday." "It's May twenty-eighth," Kairi responded. "You know it is, Selphie." "But for all we know," Selphie went on to Olette, "it's a private wedding on the hill." Kairi rolled her eyes, and Olette laughed. Selphie still hadn't forgiven her for keeping secret the swimming lessons. "Is Roxas coming tonight?" Olette asked as they exited the mall. "He's one of Sora's two guests," Kairi replied, "and will be sitting next to Sora, not me, and playing all night with Sora, not me. Roxas promised. It was about the only way to keep my brother from coming with us to the prom. Hey, where did you two park?"

Selphie couldn't remember and Olette hadn't noticed. Kairi drove them around and around the mall lot on her glider. Olette looked for the car while Selphie advised Kairi on clothes and romance. She covered everything from telephone strategies and how not to be too available to working hard at looking casual. She had been giving volumes of advice for the last three weeks. "Selphie, I think you make dating too complicated," Kairi said at last. "All this plotting and planning. It seems pretty simple to me." Incredibly simple, she thought. Whether she and Roxas were relaxing or studying together, whether they were sitting silently side by side or both trying to talk at the same time-which they did frequently-these last few weeks had been incredibly easy.

"That's because he's the one," Olette said knowingly. There was only one thing about Kairi that Roxas couldn't understand. The angels. "You've had a difficult life," he had said to her one night. It was the night of prom-or rather, the morning after, but not yet dawn. They were walking barefoot in the grass, away from the house to the far edge of the ridge. In the west, Kingdom Hearts shone brightly down upon them. There was one star. below them, in the Brink Of Despair, a train wound its silver path through the valley. "You've been through so much, I don't blame you for believing," Roxas said. "You don't blame me? You don't blame me? What do you mean by that?" But she knew what he meant. To him, an angel was just a pretty teddy bear-something for a child to cling to.

He held her tightly in his arms. "I can't believe, Kairi. I have all I need and all I want right here on this world," he said. "Right here. In my arms." "Well I don't," she replied, and even in the pale light, she could see the sting in his eyes. They started to fight then. Kairi realized for the first time that the more you love, the more you hurt. What was worse, you hurt for him as well as for yourself. After he left, she cried all morning. Her phone calls hadn't been returned that afternoon. But he came back in the evening, with fifteen lavender roses. One for each angel, he said. "Kairi! Kairi, did you hear anything I just said?" Selphie asked, jolting her back to the present. "You know, I thought if we got you a boyfriend, you'd come down to earth a little. But I was wrong. Head still in the clouds! Angel zone!"

"We didn't get her a boyfriend," Olette said quietly but firmly. "They found each other. Here's the car, Kairi. Have a good time tonight. We'd better dash, it's going to storm." The girls jumped off the glider and Kairi checked her watch, sighing as she activated her armor. Now it was really late. She sped over the access road and down the highway. When she crossed the river, she noticed how rapidly the dark clouds were moving. Her delivery was to one of the newer houses south of the city, the same neighborhood where she had glided after her first swimming lesson with Roxas. It seemed as if everything she did now made her think of him. She got just as lost this time, gliding around in circles, with one eye on the clouds. Thunder rumbled.

The trees shivered and turned over their leaves, shining and eerie lime green against the leaden sky. The wind began to gust. Branches whipped, and blossoms and tender leaves were torn too soon from their limbs. Kairi leaned forward in her glider, intent on finding the right house before the storm broke. Just finding the right street was difficult. She thought she was on Heart, but the sign said Heartless, with Heart running into it. She got off her glider to see if the sign could have been turned-a popular sport among kids in town. Then she heard a loud motor making the bend on the hill above her. She stepped out into the street to wave down the driver of the glider. For a moment, the glider slowed, then the engine was gunned and the driver few past her.

Well, she'd have to go with her instincts. The lawns were steep there, and Cloud had said that the customer lived on a hill, a flight of stone steps lined with flowerpots leading up to her house. Kairi drove around the bend. She could feel the rising wind rocking her glider. Overhead the pale sky was being swallowed up by inky clouds. Kairi skidded to a halt in front of two houses and untied the box from her glider, struggling with it against the wind. Both houses had stone steps that ran up side by side. Both had flowerpots. She chose on set of steps, and just as she cleared the first flowerpot it blew over and crashed behind her. Kairi screamed, then laughed at herself. At the top of the steps, she looked at one house, then the other, 528 and 530, hoping for some kind of clue. A glider was pulled around the back of 528, hidden by bushes, so someone was probably home.

Then she saw a figure in the large window of 528-someone looking out for her, she thought, though she couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman, or if the person actually beckoned to her. All she could see was a vague shape of a person as part of the window's reflected collage of thrashing trees backlit by flashes of lightning. She started toward the house. The figure disappeared. At the same time, the front porch light went on at 530. The screen door banged back in the wind. "Kairi? Kairi?" A woman called to her from the lit porch of 530. "Whew!" She made a run for it, handed off the package, and raced for her gilder. The skies opened, throwing down ropes of rain. Well, it wouldn't be the first time Roxas had seen her lookingn like a drowned rat.

Kairi, Riku, and Aqua arrived home late, and Xemnas looked miffed. Sora, of course, didn't care. He, Roxas, and his new school pal, Isa, were playing a video game, one of the many gifts Aqua had bought for his birthday. Roxas grinned up at the drenched Kairi. "I'm glad I taught you how to swim," he said, then got up to kiss her. She was dripping all over the hardwood floor, her father fighting a laugh at his daughter's drenched appearance. "I'll soak you," she warned. Roxas wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "I'll dry," he whispered. "Besides, it's fun to gross out Sora." "Ew," said Sora, as if on cue. "Mush," agreed Isa. Kairi and Roxas held onto each other and laughed. Then Kairi ran upstairs to change her clothes and wring out her hair. She put on lipstick, no other makeup-her eyes were already bright and her cheeks full of color. She scrounged around in her jewelry box for a pair of earrings, then hurried downstairs just in time to see Sora finish opening presents.

"She's wearing her peacock ears tonight," Sora told Roxas as Kairi sat down to dinner across from the two of them. "Darn," said Roxas, "I forgot to put in my carrot sticks." "And your shrimp tails." Sora snickered. Kairi wondered who was happier at that moment, Sora or her. She knew that life did not seem so good to Riku. It had been a rough week for him; he had confided in her that he was still very worried about his father, though he wouldn't tell her why. Lately his mother and he had had little to say to each other. Xemnas struggled to converse with him but usually gave up. Kairi turned to him now. "The tickets to the Fruitball game were a terrific idea. Sora was thrilled with the present." "He had a funny way of showing it." It was true. Sora had thanked him very politely, then leaped up with excitement when he saw the old Keyblader's Illustrated spread on Terra that Roxas had dug up.

During dinner Kairi made an effort to keep Riku in the conversation. Roxas tried to talk to him about sports and Keyblade gilders but recieved mostly one-word replies. Aqua looked irritated, though Roxas didn't seem to take offense. Aqua's cook, Tiny, the heartless-who'd been let go after the wedding, but reinstated after six weeks of Xemnas's cooking-had made them a delicious dinner. Xemnas, however, had insisted on baking his son's birthday cake. Tiny carried in the heavy, lopsided thing, his eyes averted. Sora's face lit up. "It's Mistake Cake!" The rich and lumpy chocolate frosting supported nine candled at various angles. Lights were quickly extinguished and everyone sang to Sora. With the last measure, the doorbell chimed. Aqua frowned and rose to answer it. From her seat, Kairi could see into the hall. Two police officers, a man and a woman, talked with Aqua. Riku leaned into Kairi to see what was going on. "What do you think it's about?" Kairi whispered, a bad, sinking feeling in her heart and stomach. "Something at the college," he guessed. Roxas looked across the table questioningly and Kairi shrugged her shoulders. Her father, unaware that there might be something wrong, kept cutting the cake.

Then Aqua stepped back into the room. "Xemnas." He must have read something in her eyes. He dropped the knife immediately and went to Aqua's side. She took his hand. "Riku and Kairi, would you join us in the library, please? Roxas, could you stay with the boys?" she asked. The officers were still waiting in the hall. Aqua led the way to the library. If there were a problem at the college, we wouldn't be gathering like this, thought Kairi. When everyone was seated, Aqua said, "There's no easy way to begin. Riku, your father has died." "Oh, no," Xemnas said softly. Terra was a part of his past. He bowed his head in silence, squeezing Aqua's hand. Kairi turned quickly to Riku. He sat stiffly, his eyes on his mother, and said nothing. "The police recieved and anonymous call around five-thirty P.M. that someone at his address needed help. When they arrived, they found him dead, with a fatal Keyblade wound to his midsection." Riku didn't blink. Kairi reached out for his hand. It was cold as ice.

"The police have asked-They need-As a matter of normal procedure-" Aqua's voice wavered. She turned to face the police officers. "Perhaps one of you can take over from here?" "As a matter of procedure," the woman officer said, "we need to ask a few questions. We are still searching the house for any information that might be relevant to the case, though it seems fairly conclusive that his death was a suicide." "Oh, Kingdom Hearts!" said Xemnas. "What evidence do you have for that?" Riku asked. "While it's true my father was depressed, he has been since the beginning of April-" "Oh, Kingdom Hearts!" Xemnas said again, tears in his eyes. Aqua reached out for him, but he moved away from her. Kairi knew what her father was thinking. She remembered the scene a week earlier, when a picture of Terra and Aqua had somehow turned up in the hall desk.

Aqua had told Xemnas to throw it in the trash. Xemnas could not. He didn't want that he was the one who had "thrown Terra out" of his home-years earlier, or now. Kairi guessed that her father felt responsible for Terra's happiness, and now his death. "I'd still like to know," Riku continued, "what makes you think that he killed himself. That doesn't seem like him at all. He was too strong of a man." Kairi could hardly believe how clearly and steadily Riku could speak. "First, there is circumstantial evidence," said the policeman. "No actual note, but photographs that were torn and scattered around the body." He glanced toward Xemnas. "Photographs of . . .?" Riku asked. Aqua sucked in her breath. "Xemnas and Aqua," said the officer. "Newspaper photos from their wedding." Aqua watched helplessly as Xemnas bent over in his chair, his head down, wrapping his arms around his knees.

Kairi let go of Riku's hand, wanting to comfort her father, but he pulled her back. "The Keyblade was plunged through his abdomen. There were blood spatters on his hand and fingers. Of course, we'll be checking the Keyblade for prints and such, and we'll let you know if we find something unexpected. But his doors were locked-no sign of forced entry-his air-conditioning on and windows secure, so . . ." Riku took a deep breath. "So I guess he wasn't as tough as I thought. What-what time do you think this happened?" "Between five and five-thirty P.M., not that long before we got there." An eerie feeling washed over Kairi. She had been gliding through the neighborhood then. She had been watching the angry sky and the trees lashing themselves. Had she glided by Terra's house? Had Terra killed himself in the fury of the storm? Aqua asked if she could talk later with the police and guided Xemnas out of the room. Riku stayed behind to answer questions about his father and any relationships or problems he knew about. Kairi wanted to leave; she didn't want to hear the details of Terra's life, and longed to be with Roxas, longed for his steadying arms around her.

But Riku held her back. His hand was cold and unresponsive to hers and his face still expressionless. His voice was so calm she found it spooky. But something inside him was struggling, some small part of him admitted the horror of what just happened, and asked for her. So she stayed with him, long after Roxas had gone and everyone was in bed.


	10. Chapter 10

"But you told me Repliku wanted to go out Friday night," Kairi said. "He did," Roxas replied, lying back next to her in the grass. "But his date changed her mind. I think she got a better offer." "Why does Repliku always chase the golden girls?" "Why does Selphie chase Riku?" he countered. Kairi smiled. "Same reason Cupcake chases butterflies, I guess." She watched the heartless's leaping ballet. Cupcake was very much at home in the castle garden. In the mist of snapdragons, lillies, roses and herbs. "Is Saturday night a problem?" Roxas asked. "If you're working, we could make it a late movie." Kairi sat up. Roxas came first with her, always. But with their plans set for Friday night and Sunday too-well, she might as well blurt it out, she thought. "Riku has invited Selphie, Olette and me out with some of his friends that night." Roxas didn't hide his surprise or displeasure.

"Selphie was so eager," Kairi said quickly. "And Olette was really excited, too-she doesn't go out very much." "And you?" Roxas asked, propping himself up on one elbow, twisting a long piece of grass. "I think I should go-for Riku's sake." "You've been doing a lot for Riku's sake in the last few weeks." "Roxas, his father killed himself!" Kairi exploded. "I know that." "I live in the same house with him," she went on. "I share the same kitchen and hallways and family room. I see his moods, his ups and downs. Lots of downs," she added softly, thinking about how some days Riku did nothing but sit and read the newspaper, thumbing through it as if in search of something, but never finding it. "I think he's very angry," she went on. "He tries to hide it, but I think he's furious at his father for killing himself. The other night, one-thirty in the morning, he was out on the tennis court, banging balls against the wall."

That night, Kairi had gone out to talk to him. When she called to him, he turned, and she had seen the depth of his anger and pain. "Belive me, Roxas, I help him when I can, and I'll keep helping him, but if you think I have any special feelings for him, if you think he and I-That's ridiculous! If you think-I can;t believe you'd-" "Whoa, whoa." He wrestled her down into the grass with him. "I'm not worried about anything like that." "Then what's bugging you?" "Two things, I guess," he replied. "One, I think you may be doing a lot out of guilt." "Guilt!" She pushed him back and sat up again. "I think you've picked up your father's attitude, that he and his family are responsible for Terra's unhappiness." "We're not." "I know that. I just want to make sure you do-and that you're not trying to make it up to someone who is milking it for all it's worth."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Kairi said, pulling up tufts of grass. "You really don't know what he's going through. You haven't been around Riku. You-" "I've been around him since the first grade." "People can change from first grade." "I've known Axel for that long, too," Roxas continued. "They've done some pretty wild, even dangerous things together. And that's the other thing that worries me." "But Riku wouldn't try stuff with my friends and me around," Kairi insisted. "He respects me, Roxas. This is just his way of reaching out, after the last three weeks." Roxas didn't look convinced. "Please don't let this come between us," she said. He reached up for her face. "I wouldn't let anything come between us. Not mountains, rivers, other worlds, war, floods-" "Or dire death itself," she said. "So you did read Olette's latest story." "Repliku ate it up." "Repliku? You're kidding!" "He kept the copy you gave me," Roxas said, "but I swore to him that I'd tell you I lost it."

Kairi laughed and lay down close to Roxas, resting her head on his shoulder. "You understand, then, why I said yes to Riku." "No, but it's your choice," he said. "And that's that. So what are you doing next Saturday night?" "What are you doing?" Kairi asked back. "Dining at the Dark Inn." "The inn! Well, we must be earning big bucks giving swimming lessons this summer." "We're earning enough," he said. "You don't happen to know of a beautiful girl who likes to be treated to candlelight and French food, do you?" "Yeah, I do." "Is she free that night?" "Maybe. Does she get an appetizer?" "Three, if she likes." "How about dessert?" "Raspberry souffle. And kisses." "Kisses . . ."

"Well, that was fun," Kairi remarked dryly. "I was bored anyway," Axel said. "I wasn't," Olette told them. She was the last one to leave the party at the campus sorority house that Saturday night. Borrowing paper from one of the sorority sisters, she had interviewed just about everyone there. When the other high-schoolers had been thrown out, she had been invited to stay. Sigma Pi Nu was flattered that she would put them in a story. "Axel, you're going to have to learn to keep your cool," Riku said, clearly irritated. He had been in the corner with some redhead, (which had prompted Selphie to go body to body with a bearded guy) when Axel decided to pick a fight with a giant wearing a varsity fruitball shirt. Not smart. Now Axel stood on the steps of a pillared building, staring up at a statue and cocking his head left to right, as if he were conversing with it.

Selphie lay on her back on a stone bench in the college quad, laughing softly to herself, her bare knees up, her skirt fluttering back provocatively. Riku eyed her. Kairi turned away. She and Zexion were the only ones who hadn't been drinking. Zexion had seemed at home in the campus party scene, but restless. Perhaps the rumors at school were true: he was a smart boy with an inner affliction who had seen it all and nothing much impressed him. Like Kairi, Zexion had been a newcomer in January. He appeared from nothing but darkness, however, and could create illusions like nothing you'd ever seen, which scored big points with the kids at school. Upon arrival, he had been immediately taken up by the fast crowd, but his silent manner kept everyone from getting a real fix on him.

It was easy to imagine a lot of things about Zexion, and most people that Kairi knew imagined he was very cool. "Where'sss your old lady?" Axel suddenly shouted. He was still peering up at the statue on the steps. "Riku, where's your old lady?" "That's my old lady's old man," Riku replied. It was a statue of the great Master Eraqus. Of course, Kairi thought. They were in front of the hall dedicated to him. "Why isssn't your old lady up there?" Riku sat down on a bench across from Selphie. "I guess because she's not dead yet." He took another deep swing from a beer bottle. "Then why isssn't your old man up there? Huh? Why not Terra?" Riku didn't reply. His eyes were dead and a eerie darkness eminated from him. He took another long drink. Axel frowned up at the statue. "I miss him. I misssss old Terra. You know I do." "I know," Riku said quietly, no emotion in his voice.

"Ssso, Let's put him up there." He winked at Riku. Riku didn't say anything, and Kairi went to stand behind him. She rested one hand lightly on Riku's shoulder. "I got Terra right here in my pocket," Axel said. All of them watched as he patted his Organization cloak and his pants. Finally he pulled out a pair of boxers. He held it up to his cheek. "Still warm." Kairi laid her other hand on Riku's shoulder. She could feel the tension rising in him. Axel wrapped the boxers around his arm and struggled to climb up the statue. "You're going to kill yourself," Riku told him, his voice icy. "Like your father," said Axel. Riku made no response except to take another drink, tears in his eyes as he looked down, tossing the empty bottle onto the concrete, watching it shatter. Kairi turned Riku's head away from Axel. Riku let his face rest against her then, and she felt him relax a little. Both Selphie and Zexion watched the two of them, Selphie with flashing eyes.

But Kairi stayed where she was while Axel put the boxers on Master Eraqus's head. Then she confiscated a few unopened beers and walked over to Selphie. "Riku could use some hand-holding," she said to her friend. "Even after you and the redhead." she hissed. Kairi ignored the comment. Selphie had had too much to drink. Axel gave a sudden yelp, and they turned to see him sliding off the statue. He landed in the gravel and rolled up like a snail. Zexion hurried over to him. Riku laughed. "Nothing broken but my brain," Axel muttered as Zexion pulled him back to his feet. "I think we should get back to the gliders," Zexion said coolly. "But the party's just begun," Riku protested, rising to his feet. The alcohol was obviously kicking in. "I haven't felt this good since who knows when. "I know when," said Axel.

"The party will be over soon enough if the campus police catch us," Zexion pointed out. "My mother's the prez," said Riku. "She'll get us off the hook." "Or hang us from a higher one," said Axel. Kairi looked at her watch: 11:45. She wondered where Roxas was and what he was doing. She wondered if he missed her. She could have been sitting next to him at that moment, enjoying the soft June night. "Come on, Olette," she said, sorry she had gotten her friends into this situation. "Selphie," she commanded. "Yes, mother," Selphie replied. Riku laughed, which stung Kairi a little. They're both wasted, she reminded herself. It took a long time for the six of them to find their gliders again, and to help Riku find his. When they did, Zexion held his hand out for Riku's helmet, eyes narrowed. "How about if I drive the glider?" "I can handle it," Riku told him. "Not this time." Zexion's tone was easygoing, but he reached determinedly for the helmet. Riku yanked it away, growling, the same darkness seeping from him. "Nobody drives this glider but me!" His turqouise eyes flashed.

Zexion glanced over at Kairi. "Come on, Riku," she said. "Let me be the D.D." "If someone drives," Zexion pointed out to Riku, "you can drink all you want." "I'll drink all I want and drive all I want!" Riku shouted, seething with the rage and emotional pain that was building up inside him. "And if you don't like it, well you can walk then, Zexion." Kairi thought about walking-to the nearest phone and calling Roxas. She was scared. But she knew Selphie would stay with Riku, and she felt responsible for her safety. Zexion asked Kairi if he could borrow her sweater, then placed it around Riku, who was shaking. Kairi climbed onto her glider, as Zexion helped Riku onto his, climbing on behind him. Selphie and Olette climbed on with Kairi, and Axel jumped on his custom made glider. "Why, Zexion," Riku said, drunkenly snickering as he observed the way he was holding onto his waist so he didn't fall off. "I didn't know you cared."~

Kairi pulled Selphie back as she tried to lunge at Zexion. "Selphie, trade places with Zexion. Let him ride with the girl of his dreams." Riku said, still laughing. Kairi shook her head and sighed. "Anybody likely to throw up, lean to the right of your glider." Kairi made sure Selphie and Olette held tight to her. Riku shrugged, then revved up his glider. He drove fast, too fast. His brakes squealed on turns, he barely stayed on the road. Olette closed her eyes. Selphie and Axel hung their heads to the right of the gliders as they lurched sickeningly from side to side. Kairi stared straight ahead, her muscles contracting each time Riku had to brake or turn his glider, as if she were driving the route for him. Zexion actually did help drive. Kairi realized then why he had placed himself in a dangerous spot behind him.

They were all snaking south on the back roads, and when they finally crossed the river into town, Kairi let out a sigh of relief. But Riku made a sharp turn north again, taking the road that ran along the river and past the train depot, beyond city limits. "Where are we going?" Kairi asked as they followed a narrow road, her crystal heart flashing as she started to get worried. "You'll see." Axel lifted his head off the handles of his glider, smirking. "Chick, chick, chick," he sang. "Who's a chick, chick, chick?" The ridge, looming high and dark on their right, crowded the road closer and closer to the train tracks on the left. Kairi knew they must be getting near to the point where the tracks crossed over the river. "The double bridges," Olette whispered to her, just as they ran out of road. Riku cut his engine and lights. Kairi couldn't see a thing. "Who's a chick chick chick?" Axel said, swinging his head back and forth. Kairi felt ill from the fumes of the gliders and the alcohol. She and Olette climbed off her glider. Selphie sat down on the glider, pouting. Riku opened a Dark Corridor, and pulled out more beer.

"Where did you get all this?" Kairi demanded. Riku grinned and put a heavy arm around her. "Something else for you to thank Aqua for." "Aqua bought it?" she said incredulously. "No, but her credit card did." Then he and Axel each reached for a six pack. Though Kairi understood Riku's need to blow off steam, though she knew how tough it had been for him since his father's death, she had been growing angrier by the minute. Now her anger began to ebb, giving way to a slow tide of fear. The river wasn't far away; she could hear it rushing over the rocks. As her eyes adjusted to the country dark she traced the high wires of the electric train line. She remembered why kids came here: to play chicken on the railroad bridge. Kairi didn't want to follow Riku as he led them single file to the bridges. But she couldn't stay behind, not with Selphie unable to take care of herself. Axel was pushing her from behind singing in a high, weird voice, "Who's a chick, chick, chick?"

Small round stones rolled under their feet. Axel and Selphie kept tripping on the railroad ties. The six of them walked the avenue that sliced sharply through the trees, a path made by the trains rushing between Dark City and towns and other worlds north of it. The avenue opened out and Kairi saw the two bridges side by side, the new one built about seven feet from the old. Two gleaming steel rails penciled the path of the new one. There was no railing or restraining fence. The fretwork beneath it stretched like a dark and sinister web across the river. The older bridge had collapsed in the middle. Each side was like a hand extending from the river banks, fingers of metal and rotting wood reaching toward but unable to grip the others. Far below both bridges, the water rushed and hissed. Axel snickered, prancing ahead of them. "Follow the leader, follow the leader," he said. He stumbled toward the newer bridge. Kairi looped two fingers through the waistband of Selphie's skirt. "Not you."

"Let go of me," Selphie hissed. Selphie tried to follow Axel onto the bridge, but Kairi pulled her back. "Let go!" They struggled for a moment, and Riku laughed at the two of them. Then Selphie slipped out of Kairi's grasp. Desperate, Kairi reached forward and caught Selphie's bare leg, causing her to trip over the rail and tumble down the track's bed of stone into some brush. Selphie tried to pull herself up but couldn't. She sank back, her eyes blazing at Kairi, her hands curled with anger. "Olette, you'd better see if she's all right," Kairi said, and turned her attention back to Axel. He was fifteen feet out now and over the water. His too-thin body skipped and turned along the track like a dancing skeleton. "Chick, chick, chicken," he taunted the others. "Look at all you chick, chick, chickens," Riku leaned against a tree and laughed. Zexion watched, his expression guarded.

Then everyone's head turned as the whistle sounded from across the river. It was the whistle of the late-night train that Kairi had heard so often from their house high on the ridge, a streamer of sound that wrapped around her heart every night as if it wanted to take her with it. "Axel!" she and Zexion shouted at the same time. Olette held Selphie, who was leaning over the bushes and throwing up. "Axel!" Zexion started after him, but Axel took off crazily bobbing over the tracks. Zexion persued. They'll both be killed, thought Kairi. "Zexion come back! Zexion! You can't"! She cried out to him, but he was out of earshot. The train made its swing onto the bridge, its bright eye throwing back the night, burning the two boys into paper-thin silhouettes. Kairi saw Axel tottering on the very edge of the bridge. Water and rocks lay far below him.

He's going to jump to the old bridge, she thought. He'll never make it. Angels, help us! she prayed. Water angel, where are you? Namine? I'm calling you! Axel leaned down, then suddenly dropped over the side. Kairi screamed. She and Olette screamed and screamed. Zexion was running back now, stumbling and running. The train wasn't slowing down. It was huge and dark. It was as large as night itself, bearing down on him behind one bright, blind eye. Twenty feet, fifteen feet-Zexion wasn't going to make it! He looked like a moth being drawn into its light. "Zexion! Zexion!" Kairi shrieked. "Oh, angels-" He leaped. The train rushed by, the ground thundering beneath it, the air burning with metal smells. Kairi took off down the steep hill, crashing through the brush in the direction that Zexion had leaped. "Zexion? Zexion, answer me!" "I'm here, I'm okay." He stood up in front of her.

By the hands of angels, she thought. They held onto each other for a moment. Kairi didn't know if it was he or she who was shaking so violently. "Axel? Did he-" "I don't know," she answered quickly. "Can we get down to the river from here?" "Try the other side." They clawed their way up to the bank together. When they got to the top, they both stopped and stared. Axel was walking toward them along the new bridge, a thick rope and a bungee cord slung casually over his shoulder. It took them a moment to figure out what had occured. Kairi spun around to look at Riku. Had he been in on the trick? He was smiling now. "Excellent," he said to Axel. "Excellent."


	11. Chapter 11

"You know what I don't understand?" Riku said, cocking his head, studying Kairi in her short silk skirt. A mischievious smile spread over his face. "I don't understand why you don't wear that pretty bridesmaid's dress." Xemnas looked up from the plate of snacks he was carrying upstairs to Aqua. Everyone was going out that evening. Be it to other worlds, or somewhere in the city. "Oh it's much too formal for the Dark Inn in Christmas Town," Xemnas said, "but your right, Riku, Kairi should find someplace to wear her dress again." Kairi smiled briefly at her father, then shot Riku a wicked look. He grinned at her. After Xemnas had left the kitchen, he said, "You look hot tonight." He said it in a matter-of-fact way, though his eyes lingered on her. Kairi no longer tried to figure out what Riku meant by some of his comments-whether he was truly giving her a complement or subtly mocking her.

She let a lot of what he said roll right on by. Maybe she had finally gotten used to him. "You're getting used to making excuses for him," Roxas had said after she told him what had happened on Saturday night. Kairi had been furious at Axel for his stupid trick. Riku wouldn't admit to being in on the stunt. he shrugged and said, "You never know what Axel's up to. That's what makes him fun." Of course, she had been angry at Riku too. But living with him day after day, she saw how he struggled. Since his father's death there were hours when he seemed completely lost in his own thoughts. She thought about the day he asked her to go for a ride and they had driven through his father's old neighborhood. She had told him that she had been there that stormy night. He had barely spoken after that and wouldn't meet her eyes the rest of the way home. "I'd have been a stone not to feel for him," Kairi had told Roxas, and ended the discussion there.

Both Riku and Roxas were inclined to avoid each other. As usual, Riku disappeared into a Dark Corridor as soon as Roxas glided into the driveway. Roxas always came early to play for a few minutes with Sora. Kairi saw, with some satisfaction, that this time Roxas couldn't concentrate, though the home team was down by two in the rubber match of the series with Terra coming up to swing. Second base was stolen while the pitcher was sneaking peeks at Kairi. Sora grew frustrated the third time that Roxas couldn't remember how many outs there were, and stomped off to call Isa. Kairi and Roxas seized the opportunity to slip out of the house. On the way to the glider, Kairi noticed that Roxas seemed unusually quiet. "How's Cupcake?" "Good." Kairi waited. He usually told her a funny Cupake story. "Just good?" "Very good." "Did you get a new bell for his collar?" "Yes." "Is something wrong, Roxas?" He didn't answer right away.

It's Riku, she thought. He still has himself all wound up about Riku and last weekend. "Tell me!" He faced her. With one finger he touched the back of her neck. Her hair was pinned up that night. Her shoulders were bare, except for two thin little straps. The top she wore was a simple camisole, with small buttons down the front. Roxas ran his hand down her neck, then across her bare shoulder. "Sometimes it's hard to believe you're real," he said. Kairi swallowed. Ever so gently he kissed her throat. "Maybe . . . maybe we should get on the glider," she suggested, glancing up at the windows of the house. "Right." He opened the door to his new glider. There were roses on the seat, more lavender roses. "Whoops, I forgot," said Roxas. "Do you want to run them inside?" She picked them up and held them to her face. "I want them with me."

"They'll probably wilt," he told her. "We can stick them in a water glass at the restaurant in Christmas Town." Roxas smiled. "That will show the maitre d' what kind of class we have." "They're beautiful!" "Yeah," he said softly. His eyes ran all over her, as if he were memorizing her. Then he kissed her on the forehead and held the roses while she got in the glider. As they drove in the Lanes Between, they talked about their plans for the summer. Kairi was glad Roxas landed the glider safely and took the old routes in Christmas town rather than the main roads. The trees were cool and musky with the crisp snow air. Light dappled their branches like gold coins slipping through angels's fingers. Roxas glided through the winding roads with one hand on the handles of his glider, the other reaching for hers, as if she might slip away. "I want to go to Atlantica," Kairi said. "I'm going to float out there for hours, in the deepest part, with the sun glinting off my tail-" "Till along comes a big fish or a shark," Roxas teased. "I'll float in the moonlight, too," she went on. "The moonlight? You'd swim in the dark?"

"With you I would. We could skinny-dip." He glanced over at her and their eyes held for a moment. "Better not look at you and drive at the same time," he said. "Then stop driving," she replied quietly. He glanced quickly at her, and she put her hand over her mouth. The words had escaped, and she suddenly felt embarrassed. Couples dressed up and on their way to expensive restaurants didn't pull over to make out. "We'll be late for our reservation," she said. "You should keep going." Roxas eased the glider off the road. "There's a snowbank," he said. "Do you want to walk down to it?" "Yes." Roxas came around to help her out of the glider. "Are you going to be able to walk in those shoes?" Roxas asked, glancing down at Kairi's high heels. She stood up. Both heels sank straight down into the snow. Kairi laughed, and Roxas picked her up. "I'll give you a lift," he said. "No, you'll drop me in the snow!" "Not till we get there," he said, and hoisted her up higher till he held her legs, letting top half of her fall over his shoulder as if he were carrying a sack.

Kairi laughed and pounded him on the back. Her hair was coming out of it's pins. "My hair! My hair! Let me down!" He pulled her back, and she slid down the front of him, landing in the snow bank, her skirt riding up, her hair tumbling down. "Kairi." He held her ever so tightly against him, she could feel the trembling up and down his body. "Kairi?" he whispered. She opened her mouth and pressed it against his neck. At the same time, they both fell into the snow bank in a heated kiss. A few moments later they righted themselves again. "I never knew how romantic Christmas Town could be," Kairi said, resting against the snow bank they were sitting on, smiling at Roxas. Then she looked past him at the pile of snow on the ground.

"Maybe you should pull your keyblade outta there before it gets frozen in the snow." Roxas reached down and sighed. He tugged the Key out, grunting, then sent it away, sitting back down next to Kairi. "Ow!" The smell of crushed flowers filled the air. Kairi laughed out loud. "What's so funny?" Roxas asked, pulling the smashed roses from behind him, but he was laughing too. "What if someone had come along and seen you in your Organization cloak? Wouldn't Xemnas murder you for exposing the Organization?"

Roxas tossed the flowers into the woods, and pulled her towards him again. He traced the silver zipper on the front of her dress, then kissed her cheek. "I would've told them I was with an angel." "Oh, what a line!" "Kairi, I love you!" Roxas said, his face suddenly serious and determined to make her believe him. She stared back at him, and bit her lip. She knew nobodies didn't have any emotions. Sora had told her that. "This isn't some kind of game for me. I love you, Kairi, and one day you're going to believe me." She put her arms around his neck, raising an eyebrow. "Love, Roxas? Nobodies cannot feel anything." She partly believed him, because, oddly enough, she was falling for the blonde spikey-haired nobody.

But part of her knew that nobodies cannot feel any emotion. She sighed, because she trusted him, like she trusted no one else. One day, she'd have the nerve to tell him how she felt. She'd say those three words. I love you, Roxas. She'd shout it from the top of Castle Oblivion. It took a few minutes to straighten themselves up. Kairi started laughing again. Roxas smiled and watched her try to tame that rose colored mess she called a head of hair-a useless effort. Then he got up, peering into the woods, watching a few heartless form. They're numbers were growing bigger by the minute. He jumped over rocks, and logs, summoning Oblivion.

"Kairi stay here!" He shouted back at her, worried for her safety. The moon glinted off of his Keyblade as he jumped into the mass of heartless. Kairi got worried, getting up and running after him. "Roxas wait!" She shouted as she panted, trying to catch up with him. Roxas was steadily slashing at the heartless, sweat dripping down his forehead. "Kairi get back!" She shook her head. "No!" Being the stubborn Princess of Heart she was, she was /not/ going to let Roxas fight alone. She summoned Destiny's Embrace, diving into the swarm of heartless. Roxas blinked twice, astonished. "K-Kairi what are you...?" She grinned. "This time, I'll save you."

He shook his head frantically, fear in his eyes as more heartless manifested. "NO! End of fucking story!" His eyes went wide in fear, as Sora's Darkside manifested behind Kairi. He knew there was only one option: use his entire being in an attempt to wipe them all out and save his Princess. He picked Kairi up and tossed her into a snow bank. Rude, and rough, but effective. Kairi shouted at him, snow in her hair. "What the hell are you doing?"He rolled his eyes, building up his energy. "Saving your life, Princess." As the heartless surrounded Roxas, tears filled the red-head's eyes.

"W..why?" He chuckled sadly as he finally let the massive attack out, eradicating all the heartless in the area, dropping to his knees. "B..Because I love you." Kairi ran over just as he fell, and caught him. "Ro..Roxas.." He groaned in pain, slowly starting to fade away. "S..sorry. Looks like.. I won't.. be around for our next.. date.." He closed his eyes as Kairi shook him. "N-No! d..don't leave! Don't fade on me.. please.." She pleaded, silent tears falling. "R-Roxas!" He completely faded, his voice echoing in the air around her. "I love you... Princess." Right after he was gone, a heartless came behind her, knocking her out in a violent slash with it's claw.


	12. Chapter 12

It was dazzling: the mass of heartless like a dark tunnel, the center of it bursting with light like the attack he had used to save his princess. Roxas fought and fought to save her, but there was nothing he could do to stop that final heartless he saw attacking Kairi as he faded. The moment he used the attack, he felt a tremendous weight, as if the trees and sky had collapsed on him. Then, when he faded, the weight was lifted. Somehow he had gotten free. _** She needs you. **_"Kairi!" he called out. The darkness swirled in again, the snow around him like a Twirl-a-paint, white spinning with the red of Kairi's blood, night swirling with the pulsing light of an ambulance.

_**She needs you. **_He did not hear it, but understood it. Did the others? "Kairi! Where's Kairi? You have to help Kairi!" But he could not hold onto the paramedic, could not even pull on his sleeve. "He's gone," a woman said. "No chance he survived." "Help her!" The swirling ran long and streaky now. Ribbons of light and dark rushed past him horizontally. Was she with him? The siren wailed: _**Kaiiiriii. Kaiiiriii. **_Then, he was in a square room. It was day there, or as bright as. People were rushing around. Hospital, he thought. Something covered his vision, and the light was blocked out. But he heard a voice. A wavering, male voice.

"Roxas." The voice broke. "Saix?" "Oh, my god, why did you let this happen?" "Saix, where's Kairi? Is she okay?" "My God, My God. My friend!" Saix said. "Are they helping her?" Saix did not speak. "Answer me, Saix! Why won't you answer me?" Saix held Roxas's necklace. He was crying, tears falling down onto the metal object. _**My **_necklace, Roxas thought with a jolt. That's _**my **_necklace. And yet he was watching his friend and the necklace as if he were right there next to Saix. "Saix, I'm sorry." A woman in a paramedic's uniform stood next to Roxas and Saix. Saix would not look at her. "Faded at the scene?" he asked, voice thick with emotion. She nodded. "I'm sorry. We didn't have a chance with him.

Roxas felt the darkness coming over him again. He struggled to hold onto consciousness. "And Kairi?" Saix asked. "A deep gash, a few minor cuts and bruises, in shock. Calling out for Roxas." Roxas had to find her. He focused on a doorway, concentrated with all his strength, and passed through it. Then another, and another-he was feeling stronger now. Roxas hurried down the corridor. People kept coming at him. He dodged left and right. He seemed to be going much faster than they were, and none of them bothered to move out of his way. A nurse was coming down the hall. He stopped to ask her help in finding Kairi, but she walked past him. He turned down a corner and found himself facing a cart loaded with linens. The cart and the man were on the other side of him.

Roxas knew that they had passed through him as if he were not there. He had heard what the paramedic said. Still, his mind searched for some other-any other-explanation. But there was none. He was dead. No one could see him. No one knew he was there. And Kairi would never know. Roxas felt a pain deeper than any he had ever known. He had told her he loved her, but there had not been time enough to convince her. Now there was no time at all. She'd never believe in his love the way she believed in her angels. "I said, I can't speak any louder." Roxas glanced up. He had stopped by a doorway. An old woman was lying in the bed within. She was tiny and grey with long, thin tubes connecting her to machines. She looked like a spider caught in its own web.

"Come in," she said. He looked behind him to see whom she was talking to. No one. "These old eyes of mine are so dim, I can't see my own hand in front of my face," the woman said. "But I can see your light." Roxas again looked behind him. Her voice sounded certain of what she saw. It seemed much bigger and stronger than her little grey body. "I knew you would come," she said. "I've been waiting very patiently." She has been waiting for somebody, Roxas thought, a son, or a grandson, and she thinks I'm him. Still, how could she see him if no one else could? Her face was shining brightly now. "I've always believed in you," she said. She extended a fragile hand toward Roxas. Forgetting that his hand would pass right through hers, he instinctively reached out to her. She closed her eyes.

A moment later, alarms went off. Three nurses rushed into the room. Roxas stepped back as they crowded the woman. He suddenly realized that they were trying to resuscitate her; he knew that they would not. Somehow he knew that the old woman did not want to come back. Maybe somehow the old woman had known about him. What did she know? Roxas could feel the darkness coming over him again. He fought it. What if this time he didn't come back? He had to come back, he had to see Kairi one last time. Desperately he tried to keep himself alert, focusing on one object after another in the room. Then he saw it, next to a small storybook about The Light on the woman's tray: a statue, with a hand outstretched to the woman and angel wings spread.

For days after, all Kairi could remember was Roxas fading in her arms. The heartless battle was like a dream she kept having, but couldn't remember. Asleep or awake, it would suddenly take over. Her whole body would tense, and her mind would start reeling backward, but all she could remember was the sound of Roxas's Keyblade slashing through heartless, then the slow motion attack that took him from her. Everyday, people came and went from the house, Selphie and Olette, and some other friends and teachers from school. Repliku came once; it was a miserable visit for both of them. Zexion ducked in and out on another day. They brought her flowers, cookies, and sympathy. Kairi couldn't wait until they left, couldn't wait until she could sleep again. But when she lay down at night, she couldn't sleep, and then she had to wait forever until it was day once more.

At the funeral they stood around her, her father and Aqua on one side, Sora on the other. She let Sora do all the sobbing for her. Riku stood behind her and from time to time laid his hand on her back. She'd only lean against him for a moment. He was the only one who didn't keep asking her to talk about it. He was the only one who seemed to understand her pain and didn't keep telling her that remembering was good for her. Little by little she did remember-or was told-what had happened. The doctors and police prompted her. The undersides of her arms were full of cuts. She must held her hands up in front of her face, they said, protecting it from the heartless's claws. Miraculously, the rest of her injuries were just bruises from the impact of being knocked out by the heartless. Roxas must have cast a weak barrier around her before he faded. To protect her, she thought, though the police didn't say that.

She had told them he wouldn't stop fighting. It had been twilight. The heartless had appeared suddenly. That's all she remembered. Someone told her the glider they had been riding in had been totaled, but she refused to look at the newspaper photo. A week after the funeral, Tifa came to the house and brought a picture of him. She said it was her favorite one. Kairi cradled it in her hands. He was smiling, wearing his old baseball cap, backward, of course, and a ratty school jacket, looking as Kairi had seen him look so many times. It seemed as if he were about to ask her if she wanted to meet for another swimming lesson. For the first time since the heartless fight, Kairi started to cry.

She didn't hear Riku come into the kitchen, where she and Tifa were sitting. When he saw Tifa, he demanded to know why she was there. Kairi showed him Roxas's picture, and he looked angrily over at the woman. "It's over now," he said. "Kairi is getting over it. She doesn't need any more reminders." "When you love someone, it's never over," Tifa replied gently. "You move on, because you have to, but you bring him with you in your heart." She turned back to Kairi. "You need to talk and remember, Kairi. You need to cry. Cry hard. You need to get angry, too. I am!" "You know," said Riku, "I'm getting tired of listening to all this crap. Everyone is telling Kairi to remember and talk about what happened. Everyone has a pet theory on how to mourn, but I wonder if they're really thinking about how it feels for _**her.**_"

Tifa studied him for a moment. "I wonder if you have really mourned your own loss." "Don't tell me you're a shrink!" She shook her head. "Just a person who, like you, has lost someone I loved with all my heart." Before she left, Tifa asked Kairi if she wanted Cupcake back. "I can't have him," Kairi said. "They won't let me!" Then she ran up to her room, slammed the door, and locked it. One by one, those she loved were being taken away from her. Picking up an angel statue, one that Olette had just brought her, Kairi hurled it against the wall. "Why?" she cried out. "Why didn't I die, too?" She picked up the angel and threw it again. "You're better off, Roxas. I hate you for being better off than me. You don't miss me now, do you? Oh, no, _**you **_don't feel a thing!"

On the third try, the angel shattered. Another waterfall of glass. She didn't bother to pick it up. After dinner that evening, Kairi found the glass cleaned up and the picture of Roxas sitting on her bureau. She didn't ask who had done it. She didn't want to speak to any of them. When Riku tried to come into her bedroom, she slammed the door in his face. She slammed it in his face again the next morning. That day, she was barely civil to the customers at A Little Bit Of Light. When she arrived home, she went straight to her room. Opening the door, she found Sora there, spreading out his Fruitball cards. She had noticed that he no longer called out the play-by-play for his games, just moved the players silently from base to base. But when he looked up at Kairi, he smiled at her for the first time in days. He pointed to her bed.

"Cupcake!" Kairi exclaimed. "Cupcake!" She hurried in and dropped to her knees beside the bed. Immediately the heartless began to purr. Kairi buried her face in the side of the creature, and started to cry. Then she felt a light hand on her shoulder. Drying her cheeks on Cupcake, she turned to Sora. "Does Dad know he's here?" He nodded. "He knows. It's okay. Riku said it was. Riku brought him back to us."


	13. Chapter 13

When Roxas awakened, he tried to remember which day of the week it was and what lessons he would be giving at the swim camp. Judging by the dim light in his room, it was too early to rise and dress for work. Lying back, he dreamed of Kairi-Kairi with her rose locks tumbling down, and those hypnotizing ocean blue eyes. Slowly he became aware of footsteps outside the door, and a sound like something being wheeled by. He leaped up. What was he doing there-lying on the hospital floor in the room of a man he had never seen before? The man yawned and glanced around the room. He did not appear at all surprised by Roxas's presence; he acted as if he didn't even see him.

Then it all came back to Roxas: the battle, the ambulance ride, the paramedic's words. He was dead. But he could think. He could watch other people. Was he a ghost? Roxas remembered the old lady. She had said she saw his light, which was why, he thought, she had mistaken him for an- "No, no." he said aloud, but the man didn't hear him. "I can't be that." Well, whatever he was, he was something that could laugh. He laughed and laughed, almost hysterically. He cried too. The door behind him swung open suddenly. Roxas quieted himself, but it didn't matter. The nurse who entered was not aware of him, though she stood so close her elbow passed through his as she filled out the man's chart.

July 9, 3:45 A.M., Roxas read. July 9? It couldn't be! It had been June when he'd last been with Kairi. Had he been unconscious for two weeks? Would he black out again? Why was he there conscious and there at all? He thought about the old woman who had reached out to him. Why had she noticed him, but the nurse and others had seen nothing? Would Kairi see him? Hope surged through Roxas. If he could find Kairi before he fell into the darkness again, he'd have another chance to convince her that he loved her. He would always love her. The nurse left, shutting the door behind her. Roxas reached to open it, but his fingers slipped through the handle. He tried again, and again. His hand had no more strength than the shadows.

Now he'd have to wait for the nurse to come back. He didn't know how long he would stay conscious or whether, like ghosts in old tales, he'd melt away at dawn. He tried to remember how he had gotten this far and pictured the halls he had traveled down from the emergency room. He could see very clearly the corner where the orderly had gone through him. Suddenly he was traveling the halls to that spot. That was the trick. He had to project a route in his head and focus on where he wanted to go. Soon he was out on the street. He had forgotten he was at the County Hospital and had to get himself all the way home to Oblivion. But he had driven his glider down the route a thousand times to pick up Saix and Tifa. At the thought of them, Roxas slowed down.

He remembered Saix in the emergency room, clutching his necklace and weeping. Roxas longed to assure him that everything was alright, but he didn't know how much time would be given to him. His friends had each other; Kairi was alone. The night sky was just starting to fade into dawn when he arrived at her house. Two rectangles of light glimmered softly in the west wing. Aqua must have been working in her office. Roxas went around back and found the office's French doors thrown open to the cool night air. Aqua was at her desk, deep in thought. Roxas slipped in unseen. He saw that Aqua's briefcase was open and papers with the college insignia were scattered about. But the document she had been reading was a police report. Roxas realized with a jolt that it was the official report on the heartless battle. Next to it was the newspaper article about it.

The printed words should have made his fading and death more real to him, but they didn't. Instead, they made things that once counted-his appearance, his swimming record, his school achievments, his rank in the Organization-seem meaningless and small. Only Kairi was important to him now. She had to know he loved her, and that he always would. He left Aqua to pore over the report, though he didn't understant why she would be so interested in it, and took the back stairs. Slipping past Riku's room, which was above the office, he crossed the gallery to the hall that led to Kairi's room. He could hardly wait to see her, hardly wait for her to see him. He trembled as he had done before their first swimming lesson. Would they be able to speak to each other?

If anyone could see and hear him, Kairi could-her faith was strong! Roxas focused on her room and passed through the wall. Cupcake sat up immediately. He had been sleeping on Kairi's bed, his thick black hide curled close to Kairi's rose colored head. Now the heartless blinked and stared at Roxas, or at the empty air-after all, heartless did that, he thought. But when he moved toward the other side of Kairi's bed, Cupcake's yellow eyes followed him. "Cupcake, what do you see, Cupcake?" he asked quietly. The heartless began to purr, and he laughed. He stood by Kairi's side now. Her hair was tumbled over her face. He tried to brush it back. More than anything he longed to see her face, but his hands were useless. "I wish you could help me, Cupcake," he said. The heartless walked over the pillows toward him.

Roxas kept very still, wondering what exactly Cupcake perceived. The heartless leaned as if he would rub against his arm. He fell over sideways and yelped. Kairi stirred then, and Roxas called her name softly. Kairi rolled onto her back and he thought she was going to answer him. Her face was a lost moon, beautiful, yet pale. All of her light lay in the beautiful long lashes, and rose hair spread out like rays from her face. Kairi frowned. He wanted to smooth the frown away but couldn't. She began to toss and turn. "Who's there?" she asked. "Who's there?" He leaned over her. "It's me, Roxas." "Who's there?" she asked again. "Roxas!" Her frown deepened. "I can't see." He laid his hand on her shoulder, wishing she would awaken, certain that she would see him and hear him. "Kairi, look at me! I'm here!"

Her eyes fluttered open for a moment. Then he saw the change in her face. He saw the terror take over her. She began to scream. "Kairi!" She screamed and screamed. "Kairi, don't be afraid." He tried to hold her. He wrapped his arms around her, but their bodies slipped through each other. He could not comfort her. Then the bedroom door flew open. Sora rushed in. Riku was close behind him. "Wake up, Kairi, wake up!" Sora shook her. "Come on, Kairi, please." Her eyes opened wide now. She gazed at Sora, then glanced around the room. She did not pause at Roxas; she looked straight through him. Riku rested his hands lightly on Sora's shoulders and moved him aside. He sat down on the bed, then pulled Kairi close to him. Roxas could see that she was shaking.

"Everything is going to be all right," Riku said, smoothing back her hair. "It was just a dream." A terrifying dream, thought Roxas. And he couldn't help her, couldn't comfort her now. But Riku could. Roxas was overcome with jealousy. He couldn't stand to see Riku holding her that close. And yet he couldn't stand to see Kairi so frightened and upset. Gratitude to Riku, as powerful as his jealousy, swept through him. Then jealousy again. Roxas felt weak from this war of feelings and backed away from the three of them, moving toward Kairi's shelf of angels. Cupcake followed him cautiously. "Was your dream about the battle?" Sora asked. Kairi nodded, then dropped her head, tears spilling out of her ocean blue hues, as she ran her hands over and over the twisted sheets.

"You want to talk about it?" Riku asked. Kairi tried to speak, then shook her head and turned one hand over, palm up. Roxas saw the jagged scars running up her arm like the traces of lightning strikes. For a moment the darkness came up from behind him, but he fought it back. "I'm here. Everything's okay," Riku said, and waited patiently. "I-Iwas staring at Roxas," she began. "I saw a huge shadow, but I wasn't sure who, or what it was. 'Who's there?' I called out. 'Who's there?' " From across the room, Roxas watched, her pain and fear pressing upon him. "I-I didn't know until I looked up, that it was Darkside," she continued. "Then I saw a light. . ." She looked down. "The light that Roxas used to save me. The one that took him away from me! Then. . .I couldn't see." She stopped and glanced around the bedroom.

"You couldn't see," prompted Riku. "The heartless had knocked me out. . .everything was black. I could feel myself bleeding as I awoke, blinded by the light of the ambulance, and . . ." She looked down. "Roxas was gone." She fell silent. Riku cupped her chin in his hand and pulled it up toward him, gazing deeply into her eyes. From across the room, Roxas called to her. "Kairi! Kairi, look at me," he begged. But she looked back at Riku, her mouth quivering. "Is that the end of the dream?" Riku asked. She nodded. With the back of his hand he gently stroked her cheek. Roxas wanted her to be comforted but- "You don't remember anything else?" Riku said. Kairi shook her head. "Open your eyes, Kairi! Look at me!" Roxas called to her.

Then he noticed Sora, who was staring at the angel collection-or perhaps at him; he wasn't sure. Roxas put his hand around the statue of the water angel. If only he could find a way to give it to Kairi. If he could some sign- "Come here, Sora," Roxas said. "Come get the statue. Carry it to Kairi." Sora walked toward the shelves as if drawn by a magnet. Reaching up, he put his hand over Roxas's. "Look!" Sora cried. "Look!" "At what?" asked Kairi. "Your angel. It's glowing." "Sora, not now," said Riku. Sora took the angel down from the shelf and carried it over to her. "Do you want her by your bed, Kairi?" "No." "Maybe she'll keep away the bad dreams," he persisted. "It's just a statue. . ." she said wearily. "But we can say our prayer, and the real angel will hear it."

"There _**are **_no real angels, Sora! Don't you understand?" She started to tear up, her voice breaking. "If there were, they would have saved Roxas!" Sora fingered the wings of the statue. He said in a stubborn, little voice, "Angel of light, angel above, take care of me tonight, take care of everyone I love." "Tell her I'm here, Sora," Roxas said. "Tell her I'm here." "Look, Kairi!" Sora pointed toward the statues, where Roxas stood. "They're shining!" "That's enough, Sora!" Riku said sternly. "Go to bed." "But-" "Now!" When Sora passed by, Roxas held out his hand, but the little boy did not reach back to him. He stared with wonder, not recognition. What did Sora see? Roxas wondered. Maybe he saw what the old woman had seen: light, some kind of shimmering, but not a shape. Then he felt the darkness coming on once more. Roxas fought it. He wanted to stay with Kairi. He could not stand to lose her now. He could not stand to leave her before Riku did.

What if this was his last time with her? What if he was losing Kairi forever? He struggled desperately to keep back the darkness, but it was rising on all sides now, like a black mist, before him, behind him, closing over his head, and he succumbed.


	14. Chapter 14

When Roxas awoke from his dreamless dark, the sun was shining brilliantly through Kairi's windows. Her sheets were pulled up and smoothed over with a light comforter. Kairi was gone. It was the first time Roxas had seen daylight since the battle. He went to the window and marveled at the details of summer, the intricate designs of leaves, the way the wind could run a finger through the grass and send a green wave over the top of the ridge. Though the curtains were moving, Roxas couldn't feel its cool touch. Though the room was streaked with sun, he couldn't feel the warmth. Cupcake could. The heartless was lying on a T-shirt of Kairi's tucked in a bright corner.

He greeted Roxas by opening one eye and purring a little. "Not much dirty laundry lying around here for you, is there?" he asked, thinking of the heartless's fondness for his smelliest socks and sweats. The stillness of the house made him speak quietly, though he knew he could shout loud enough to-well, loud enough to wake the dead, and only he could hear. The loneliness was intense. Roxas feared that he would always be alone this way, wandering and never seen, never heard, never known as Roxas. Why hadn't he seen the old lady from the hospital after she died? Where had she gone? Dead people went to cemeteries, he thought as he crossed the hall way to the stairs. Then he stopped in his tracks. He had a grave somewhere! He hurried down the steps, curious to see what they had done with his empty grave. Perhaps he'd find the old woman, or someone recently dead who could make sense of all this.

Roxas had visited Lost Sentiment Cemetery several times when he had first joined the Organization, when he was alive. It had never seemed like a sad place to him, perhaps because everyone said that nobodies couldn't feel. They had memories of emotions, and they got attached to people and things, sure, but the rumor was that they felt nothing. Back then, Roxas had run and broad-jumped the graves, using the cemetery as a kind of playground and obstacle course. But that seemed centuries ago. It was strange now to slip through the tall iron gates-gates he had swung on like a little monkey, Tifa always said-in search of his own grave. Whether he moved from memory or instinct, he wasn't sure, but he found his way quickly to the lower path and around the bend marked by three pines. He knew it was fifteen feet farther and prepared himself for the shock of reading his own name on the stone.

But he didn't even glance at it. He was too astonished by the presence of a girl who had stretched out and made herself quite at home on the freshly upturned dirt. "Excuse me," he said, knowing full well that people didn't hear him. "You're lying on my grave." She glanced upward then, which made him wonder if he was shimmering again. The girl was about his age, and looked vaguely familar to him. "You must be Roxas," she said. "I knew you'd show up sooner or later." Roxas stared at her. "You're him, right?" she said, indicating his name with a jab of her thumb. "Recently dead, right?" "Recently alive," he said, eyes narrowed at the girl. There was something about her attitude that made him want to argue with her. She shrugged. "Everybody has his own point of view." He couldn't get over the fact that she could hear him. "And you. . ." he said, studying her braid, and perky vibrant green eyes. "what are you?"

"Not so recently." "I see. Is that why your eyes are that color?" Her hand flew up to her eye. "Ex_**cuse**_ me?" Her eyes were a vibrant, acidic green. Almost like Vexen's, he thought. "This is the color they were when I died." She frowned. "Oh. Sorry." "Have a seat," she said, patting the newly mounded earth. "After all, its your resting place. I was just crashing for a while." "So you're a. . .a ghost," he said. "Ex_**cuse**_ me?" He wished she'd stop using that annoying tone. "Did you say 'ghost'? You _**are**_ recent. We're not ghosts, sweetie." She tapped his arm several times with her finger. Again he wondered if this was from being "not recently" dead but was afraid she'd puncture him if he asked. Then he realized that her hand did not pass through his. They were indeed made of the same stuff. "We're angels, sweetie. _**That's right. **_Heaven's little helpers."

Her tone and tendency to exaggerate certain words were starting to grate on his nerves. She pointed toward the sky. "Someone's got a wicked sense of humor. Always chooses the least likely." "I don't believe it," Roxas said. "I don't believe it." "So this is the first time you've seen your new digs. Missed your own funeral, huh? _**That**_," she said, "was a very big mistake. I enjoyed _**every**_ minute of mine." "Where are you buried?" Roxas asked, looking around. The stone on the other side of his had a carving of a lamb, which hardly seemed right for her, and on the other side, a serene-looking woman with hands folded over her breasts and eyes lifted toward heaven-an equally bad choice. "I'm not buried. That's why I'm subletting from you."

"I don't understand," said Roxas. "Don't you recognize me?" "Uh, no," he said, afraid she was going to tell him she was related to her somehow, or maybe that he had chased her in the sixth grade. "Look at me from this side." She showed him her profile. Roxas looked at her blankly. "Boy, you didn't have much of a life, did you, when you had a life," she remarked. "What do you mean?" "You didn't go out much." "All the time," Roxas argued. "Didn't hear of the Advent Children." ". . .Maybe." Roxas replied. "Bet you never heard of Aerith Gainsborough." "Sure I did. Everybody did, before she- You're Aerith Gainsborough?" She rolled her eyes upward. "I hope you're faster at figuring out your mission." He snorted and crossed his arms. "Maybe if I had remembered your eye color quicker."

"We've already talked about my eyes," she said, scrambling to get up from the grave. It was odd to see her standing against the background of trees. The willow waved ropes of leaves in the breeze, but her hair lay as still as a girl's in a photograph. "I remember now," Roxas said. "You had been killed by Sephiroth." "Imagine how pleased I was to find myself with a sword wound in my gut." "That was a while ago, right?" At that, she ducked her head. "Yeah, well. . ." "I remember hearing about your funeral," Roxas said. "Lots of people close to you went." "I wish you could've seen my mother, weeping and wailing." Aerith struck a pose like the marble figure of a woman weeping in the next row over. "You would have thought she had lost someone she loved."

"Well, she did if you're her daughter." "You _**are**_ naive, aren't you." It was a statement rather than a question. "You could have learned something about people if you had gone to your own funeral. Maybe you still can learn. There's a burial on the east side this morning. Let's go." she said. "Going to a burial? Isn't that knid of morbid?" She laughed at him over her shoulder. "Nothing can be morbid, Roxas, once your dead. Besides, I find them highly entertaining. And when they're not, I make them so, and you look like you could use some cheering up. Come on." "I think I'll pass." She turned and studied him for a minute, perplexed. "All right. How about this: I saw a group of girls come in earlier, headed for the ritzy side of town. Maybe you'd enjoy that more. Good audiences, you know, are hard to come by, especially you're dead, and most of them can't see you." 

She started pacing around in a circle. "Yeah, that'll be much better." She seemed to be talking to herself as much as him. "It will score me some points." She glanced over at Roxas. "You see, fooling around with funeral parties doesn't really meet with approval. But with this, I'll be performing a service. Next time those girls will think twice about respect for the dead." Roxas had hoped that another person like him would clear things up a bit, but- "Oh, cheer up, Blondie!" She started down the road. Roxas followed slowly, and tried to remember if anyone said that Aerith Gainsborough was crazy. She led him to an older section of the cemetery where there were family plots owned by longtime, wealthier residents of Oblivion. On one side of the road, mausoleums with facades like miniature temples sank their backs into the hill.

On the other side were gardenlike squares with tall, polished monuments and a variety of marble statues. Roxas had been there before. At Xemnas's request, Terra had been buried in Aqua's family plot. "Swanky, huh?" "I'm surprised you sublet from me," Roxas remarked. "Oh, I could've chose anyone. You seemed like the sweetest one." she said, a light smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. Roxas didn't bother to correct her. "So, what do you think those girls had in mind?" she asked, stopping to look around. There was no one in sight, just smooth stones, bright flowers, and a sea of lush grass. "I was wondering the same thing about you," he replied. "Oh, I'll just improvise. I doubt you'll be much help. You couldn't have any real skills yet. Probably all you can do is stand there and shimmer, like some kind of freakin' Christmas ornament-means only a believer or two will see you."

"Only a believer?" "You mean you still haven't figured out _**that**_?" She shook her head in disbelief. But he had figured it out; he just didn't want to admit it, just didn't want it to be true. The old lady had been a believer. So was Sora. Both of them had seen him shimmering. But Kairi had not. Kairi had stopped believing. "You can do something more than just shimmer?" Roxas asked hopefully. She looked at him as if he were utterly stupid. "What on earth do you think I've been doing for the past two years?" "I have no idea," Roxas said. "_**Don't **_tell me, _**puh-lease**_ don't tell me I'm going to have to explain to you about missions." He ignored the melodramatics. "You mentioned that before. What missions?" "Your mission, my mission," she replied quickly. "We each have a mission. And we have to fulfill it if we want to get on to where everyone else has gone." She started walking again, rather quickly, and he had to hurry to catch up.

"But what is my mission?" "How should I know?" "Well, somebody has to tell me. How can I fulfill it if I have no idea what it is?" he said, frustrated. "Don't complain to me about it!" she snapped. "It's your job to find out." In a quieter voice she added, "It's usually some kind of unfinished business. Sometimes it's someone you know who needs your help." "So I have at least two years to-" "Well, no, that's not exactly how it works," she said, making that funny ducking motion with her head that he had seen before. She moved ahead of him, then passed through a black iron fence whose curled and rusted spikes made odd designs against the walls of an old stone chapel. "Let's find the kids." "Wait a minute," he said, reaching for her arm. She was the one thing he could grab hold of. "You've got to tell me. How _**exactly**_ does this mission thing work?"

"Well. . . well, you're supposed to find out and complete your mission as soon as possible. Some angels take a few days, some angels take a few months." "And you've been at it for two years," he said. "How close are you to completing yours?" She ran her tounge over her teeth. "Don't know." "Great," he said. "Great! I don't know what I'm doing, and I've finally found myself a guide, and she's only taking eight times as long as everybody else." "Twice as long!" she said. "Once I met an angel who took a year. You see, Roxas, I get a little distracted. I'm going about my business, and I see these opportunities that are just too good to pass by. Some of them don't really meet with approval." "Some of them? Like what?" Roxas asked suspiciously. She shrugged. "Once I dropped a chandelier on my jerky killer, Sephiroth's, head-just missing, of course. That's what I mean by an opportunity just too good to pass by.

And that's how it usually goes for me. I'm two points closer, then something comes up, and I'm three points back and never quite getting to figuring out my mission. But don't worry-you probably have more discipline than me. For you, it'll be a snap." I'm going to wake up, Roxas thought, and this nightmare will be over. Kairi will be lying in my arms- "How much do you want to bet that those girls are in the chapel?" Roxas eyed the gray stone building. Its doors had been bound with heavy chains since he had first joined the Organization. "Is there a way in?" "For us, there is always a way in. For them, a broken window in the back. Any special requests?" "What?" "Anything you'd like me to do?" Wake me up, thought Roxas. "Uh, no." "You know, I don't know what's on your mind, Rox, but you're acting deader than dead."

Then she slipped through the wall. Roxas followed. The chapel was dark except for one square luminescent green where the window was broken in the back. Dry leaves and crumbling plaster were scattered over its floor, along with broken bottles and cigarettes. Wooden benches were carved with initials and blackened symbols that Roxas couldn't decipher. The girls, whom he judged to be about eleven or twelve, were seated in a circle in the altar area and giggling with nervousness. "Okay, who are we going to call back?" one of them asked. They glanced at one another, then over their shoulders. "Ansem," said a girl with a brown ponytail. "Master Eraqus," another suggested. "Master Xehanort." "Vanitas." "I know!" said a tiny, freckle-faced blonde. "How about Roxas?" Roxas blinked. "Too bloody," said the leader. "Yeah, said the brunette, pulling her pony tail up into two long pieces. "He'd probably have a claw gash through his gut."

"Ew, gross!" Aerith snickered. "My sister had the biggest crush on him," the freckled blonde said. Aerith batted her eyelashes at Roxas. "One time, like, when we were fooling around at the pool, he, like, blew the whistle at us. It was cool." "He was a hunk!" Aerith stuck her finger down her throat and rolled her eyes. "Still, he might be bloody," said a red-head, that reminded Roxas of a younger Kairi. "Who else can we call for?" "Aerith Gainsborough." The girls looked around at each other. Which one of them had said it? "I remember her. She had something to do with the Avent Children." "_**Advent Children."**_ It was Aerith's voice, Roxas realized, sounding the same but different, the way a televised voice was the same but different than a live voice. Somehow she was producing it in a way that they all could hear. The girls looked around, a little spooked.

"Let's join hands," the leader said. "We're calling back Aerith Gainsborough. If you're here, Aerith, give us a sign." "I never liked Aerith Gainsborough." Roxas saw Aerith's eyes spark. "Shhhh. The spirits are around us now." "I see them!" said the little blonde. "I see their light! Two of them." "So do I!" "I don't," said the girl with the brown ponytail. "Let's get somebody other than Aerith Gainsborough." "Yeah, she was too nice." It was Roxas's turn to snicker. "Well, we're calling Aerith Gainsborough." said the leader. "If you're here, Aerith, give us a sign." It began with a slow whirling of dust. Roxas saw that Aerith herself became faint as the dust whirled upward. Then the dust drifted off and she was there again, running around the circle, pulling hair.

The girls shrieked and held their heads. She pinched two of them, then picked up their sweaters, and hurled them this way and that. By this time the girls were on their feet, still screaming, and running for the open window. Empty bottles flew over their heads and smashed against the chapel wall. In a moment the girls were gone, their screams trailing behind them like thin, birdlike calls. "Well," said Roxas when it was quiet again, "I guess everyone should be glad that there wasn't a chandelier in here. Feeling better?" "Little snips!" "How did you do that?" he asked. "Too nice? Too nice?" she seethed. "Well, you're not now," said Roxas, "you were pulling and throwing. How did you do all that? I can't use my hands at all." "Figure it out yourself!" She was still fuming. She glared back at Roxas. "You don't think I'm too nice, do you?" He held his hands up in defense. "No, No, not at all." "As for how I use my hands," she said, "do you really think I'd take up _**my**_ precious time to teach _**you**_?"

Roxas nodded. "Good audiences are hard to come by," he reminded her, "especially when you're dead and most of them can't see you." Then he left her sulking in the chapel. He figured she'd know how to locate him and would when she was ready. Out in the noonday sun again, Roxas blinked. When he did not feel changes in tempertature, he did seem very sensitive to light and darkness. In the darkened chapel he had seen auras around the girls, and now, in the tree-shaded landscape, splotches of sunlight seemed to be dazzlingly bright. Perhaps that was why he mistook the visitor for Tifa. The way she moved, and the shape of her head convinced Roxas that Tifa was walking away from Aqua's family plot. Then the visitor, as if she sensed someone watching him, turned around. She was much older than Tifa, and her face was twisted with grief. Roxas reached out a hand to her, but the woman turned away and continued on.

So did Roxas, but not before he noticed, on the fresh green belly of Terra's grave, a long-stemmed red rose.


End file.
